Letters to the Beyond: To Mama

12-28-2022 

Dear Mama,

I wish you had recognized your own value more. You rarely had a kind word for yourself, yet you did so much good in our world. You took care of everyone in your life, event those who didn't deserve it. And it wasn't just those near and dear to you. You sacrificed so that complete strangers could have food on the table, clothing to wear, and a few presents under the tree come the holidays.

Not enough people said thank you for all you did. Not enough people showed you and Daddy the same generosity when you were in need over the years. Not enough people who loved you told you that you were king, beautiful, and important. They should have because you were all of those things and more. You never understood how loved and needed you were and still are by so many. I hope wherever you are now that you know.

Love,

Your Daughter

1-16-2023

Dear Mama,

I miss being able to pick up the phone and call you. I miss being able to ask for advice on health stuff because maybe I knew you'd experienced something similar or being able to ask for tips on a particular recipe I remembered you making. 

The whole family misses you. You did so much for them that they never realized until you weren't there to make sure it got done. Grandmother misses you so much. Her sisters are gone now, and she talks about so many in the family and the community who have passed in the last couple of years. It can't be easy for her to be one of the few left. You called and talked to her just because you wanted to, and you really listened. You randomly showed up with a meal or a special treat just because. You never treated her like something she had to do. She was always someone you wanted to see. You being gone has been particularly hard on her.

Lots of other people miss you too. I get messages from friends often saying how much they miss you and Daddy. You would never have believed it or admitted that you were loved while you were here. I hope you realize it now wherever you are.

Love,

Your Daughter

1-30-2023

Dear Mama,

Grandmother has been in the hospital and then a rehab unit for about a week now. She is getting better, but there is still mending and physical therapy needed before she can come home. Please watch over her and lend her a helping hand in healing if you can. I know if you were here with us, you'd be impatiently trying to get her home. And you'd be bringing her meals because she doesn't like the food they've been serving her. You were always so good at taking care of us all.

I love you.

Your Daughter

Witchy Wednesday Writing Prompt: A Letter for the Lost

Letters to Heaven by Osnat Tzadok.

One of my witchy writing exercises recently suggested writing letters to the dead as a way of processing the grief and all the feelings attached. I have been walking around with so much unresolved anger since my mom passed and no way to resolve it. Nothing left but to let it go.

I thought about how we’ve made Yule wish balls in the past and filled a pine cone with wishes for the future and things we want to let go of from the prior year. Maybe I could do something similar to take the first step to free myself from the rage I have been holding onto.

So, I wrote my letter, which I am not going to share here. It's a private thing, and I do not want to cause harm to people I care about if they happened upon this post and read my private thoughts and feelings. There could be no good from making those public. I folded the letter into a small paper packet fill the folds and spaces with dried herbs and flowers. I made the packet heart shaped because it's my heart that I want to lighten with the practice. I want to think of my mother and her passing and be able to dwell on more love and less anger. I placed it on a bed of sand and dried orange peel, circled it with salt, and burned it til all the words were gone.

I think I will mix the sand and ashes into some soil and plant something pretty that I can watch grow. My mother would have liked that part, and I want to turn the energy that I've been putting into holding onto negativity and use it for something positive and growing and green.

Mixing Up Magic in the Kitchen - Holiday Edition

What recipes do you always make around the holidays? My family always made a few every year. They were a ritual. There were so many things attached to each food. Memories of childhood. Memories of family members who were no longer with us. The ritual of mixing and stirring and seasoning that seems so magical when it all comes out just as you planned. I will share a few of my favorites here.

I remember some about my Great Grandmother Smith before dementia began to ravage her, but not a lot. From the stories that my grandfather and grandmother told, she liked cooking, but it wasn't really her strong suit. There were a few dishes though that everyone loved, especially my grandfather, so we made them each year for the holidays. It was a way us to help him remember her and honor her.

Photo from Recipes.net

Old Fashioned Potato Candy

 

1 large white potato (peeled and boiled)

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/8 teaspoon salt

6-7 cups of powdered sugar

Smooth peanut butter of your choice

1 Tablespoon of water or milk

Food coloring (optional)

 

Peel and boil 1 large white potato until tender. Mash potato until smooth of lumps. Add vanilla extract and stir into potato. Add the tablespoon of water or milk if extra liquid is needed to smooth the mixture. If you would like to make your dough different colors, add in your food coloring now. Sometimes my great grandmother would split the batch into three parts and do red, green, and white for the holiday. We most often skipped the food coloring part.

 

Begin adding the powdered sugar one cup at a time until you are able to create a dough similar to a sugar cookie dough.

 

Roll out dough using extra powdered sugar to dust surface to prevent sticking. You want the finished dough to be about 1/8 inch thick when you are done rolling.

 

Spread peanut butter over the top surface of the dough. We always used smooth peanut butter because it was my family’s overall preference, but I suppose you could use crunchy as well for added texture.

 

Starting at one of the long sides, tightly roll up dough, like a jelly roll. Wrap in parchment paper and freeze for 30 minutes to an hour. Until firm. Slice into ¼ inch pieces and serve. Store in the refrigerator.