My Life in Music

Childhood

Miracle by Celine Dion

A Different World by Bucky Covington

I've Been Dreaming of a Smoky Mountain Christmas by Dolly Parton

Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Daughters by John Mayer

The Last Unicorn by Jimmy Web (The Last Unicorn Soundtrack)

American Friday Night by Buddy Covington

Christmas in Dixie by Alabama

Hard Candy Christmas by Dolly Parton

Sweet Southern Comfort by Buddy Jewell

Daddy's Girl by Red Sovine

Magic Dance by David Bowie (Labyrinth Soundtrack)

These are the Days by 10,000 Maniacs

I Want to be a Cowboy’s Sweetheart by Patsy Montana

Walking After Midnight by Patsy Cline

Loved by the Sun By Tangerine Dream (Legend Soundtrack)

Seven Spanish Angels by Ray Charles and Willie Nelson

Nothing is Gonna Stop Us Now by Jefferson Starship

Young Adulthood

Enter Sandman by Metallica

Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nivrana

Lambada by Kid Creole and the Coconuts

Waterfalls by TLC

Big Empty by Stone Temple Pilots

Losing My Religion by R.E.M.

Girls Just Want to Have Fun by Cindi Lauper

The World I Know by Collective Soul

Claudia by South FM

Burn by The Cure

Bitch by Meredith Brooks

Free Your Mind by En Vogue

Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden

Nothing Else Matters by Metallica

Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne

Criminal by Fiona Apple

Invincible by Pat Benatar

Stupid Girl by Garbage

If it Ain't Got That Swing by Benny Goodman

Jump Jive an’ Wail by The Brian Setzer Orchestra

Hell by Squirrel Nut Zipper

Freak on a Leash by Korn

The Bondage Song by Tiamat

Blue Monday by Orgy

Jeremy by Pearl Jam

Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson

One of Us by Joan Osborne

Like a Prayer by Madonna

Linger by The Cranberries

My Last Semester by The Wonder Years

Photograph by Nickleback

Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen by Baz Luhrman

One Headlight by The Wallflowers

Meet Virginia by Train

Feel Good Inc by Gorillaz

You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive by Darrell Scott

I’m Free by The Who

Adulthood Part I

Unwritten By Natasha Bedingfield

No Rain by Blind Melon

What's Up by Four Non Blondes

For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert

Last Friday Night by Katie Perry

Snuff by Slipknot

Love You to Death by Type O Negative

A Song for a Friend by Jason Mraz

We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel

What’s Going On? By Compilation of Various Artists Tribute

Passenger by Deftones

Adulthood Part II

Every Breath You Take by The Police

You Don't Own Me By Lesley Gore

Express Yourself by Madonna

Sing by Chemical Romance

A Perfect Twist by Mike Patton

Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve

Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls

I Will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan

Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw

Adulthood Part III

Don't Let Me Get Me by Pink

Pleasure Slave by Manowar

Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson

Bring Me to Life by Evanescence

Breath Control by Recoil

Beautiful by Christina Aguilera

Closer by Nine Inch Nails

The Reason by Hoobastank

Someone Like You by Adele

Take a Bow by Madonna

Teddy Bear by Red Rovine

Lips of an Angel by Hinder

Not Ready to Make Nice by Dixie Chicks

Adulthood Part IV

Firework by Katie Perry

Girls Just Want to Have Fun by Cindi Lauper

Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen

Damn I Wish I was you Lover by Sophie B. Hawkins

Rebel Yell by Billy Idol

El Tango de Roxanne from Moulin Rouge Soundtrack

Control By Puddle of Mud

Missundaztood by Pink

I Know the Truth on the Aida Soundtrack

Human Nature by Madonna

Don’t Speak by No Doubt

Sonny Came Home by Shawn Colvin

Stronger by Britney Spears

A Woman’s Worth by Alicia Keys

Unwritten By Natasha Bedingfield

G33K G4M3R Girls by Team Unicorn

Born This Way by Lady Gaga

Everything You Want by Splendor

There You Go by Pink

I Kissed a Girl by Katie Perry

Venus in Furs by The Velvet Underground

Bad Things by Jace Everett

If it’s Not God by Maddie Zahm

Losing My Religion by R.E.M.

I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing by Aerosmith

My Little Girl by Tim McGraw

Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars

Going to the Chapel by The Dixie Cups

Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton

I Loved Her First by Heartland

Try it On My Own by Whitney Houston

Fraoch A Ronaigh by Mouth Music

Hero – Enrique Iglesias

All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor

I've Had the Time of My Life by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes

Adulthood Part V

I Didn’t Know I’d Love You So Much from the Repo Genetic Opera Soundtrack

Mad Mad World by Gary Jules

The Sound of Silence by Disturbed

Will The Circle Be Unbroken by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band／Johnny Cash／Ricky Skaggs

Just a Rose Will Do by The Reese Sisters

Who's Going to Fill Their Shoes by George Jones

The Living Years by Mike and the Mechanics

Somebody that I used to Know by Kimbra and Gotye

So Far Away by Avenged Sevenfold

Because of You by Reba McIntyre and Kelly Clarkson

Adulthood Part VI ...

This is Me by Keala Settle

The Land Unknown by Landon Blood

Blue Side of the Mountain by The SteelDrivers

W.I.T.C.H by Devon Cole

Life Lessons and Retrospection

Seeing the life issues some of my friends and family are having to go through right now has made me rather introspective about my own past, good and bad. I've made big mistakes. I've been hurt horribly, and I know at times I've hurt others just as horribly both intentionally and on accident. I've taken some big risks, some of which paid off big for me and some not. I've made some great friends who have stuck around through thick and thin, and I've watched as people I thought were friends drifted out of my life without a backward glance.

Looking back on all those moments, I realize so much could have been avoided or at least the pain could have been lessened if I’d just learned to love and trust myself much earlier than I did. I was always looking for something that would make me better, make me into someone who people liked/loved, make me prettier, make me more successful, make me smarter. I was always looking for that something or someone on the outside, when I should have been looking within.

I had everything in me that I needed, but I’d been told so many times to the contrary that I never saw it. You’re ugly … you’re fat … you’re stupid … you’re never going to make anything of yourself. I let those voices become so loud and so insidious that I had no doubt they were telling the truth. They weren't even close to the truth. The people who said those things, they didn't even know me. Most of the people I didn't even like or want to know myself. On good days, I could tell myself that if they really knew me, they wouldn't say such hurtful words. The people who said those things to me who were close to me in my mind validated all the others though.

I’ve learned to be who makes me happy and not worry about anyone else. I don’t want to be a person anyone/everyone will love. I want to be who I’m meant to be. There are people in this world who I have been lucky enough to meet (and some I haven’t met yet I’m sure) who do or will love me just the way I am, because of who I am. If I had just learned that sooner, what unhappiness I could have spared myself and others. But then some of those hard times and trials have helped make me who I am, and right now I wouldn't want to be anyone else for all the world.

If I could share one thing with the people I love, it’s to love yourself, blemishes and flaws included, to learn from your mistakes and strive always to be someone you would be proud to know. Laugh, love, close your eyes and take that leap of faith from time to time. Maybe that’s all any of us can ask for in life … to be comfortable enough in our own skin to love ourselves and strong enough to trust we won’t be hurt when letting others in.