Do We Have to be Blind to Believe?

 

Goddess Blind by NeverlandCreations

The last few days, my mind has dwelled on faith. I envy those who can believe blindly, and I fear them. Blind faith is a such a double-edged sword. It's likely to cut your head off as it allows you to slay your enemy. And it makes enemies of those you should love. I know that's cryptic sounding, but it's true.

I grew up in a religious family. Both of my parents were happiest when in their Christian church. Fellowship was important to them, and their church family was Family to them. Reading and hearing the Word brought peace to my father. I saw people gripped by the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues as a child. I saw people over joyed being baptized. I heard preachers give sermons of love and forgiveness and I heard others whose sermons sounded like they were straight out of "In the Hands of an Angry God." As in Polyanna, those essays on fire and brimstone would leave you with a sour stomach and a perpetual feeling of dread.

I was never happy to just sit in the pew on Sunday and let the minister tell me what God wants of me and how to go about achieving that. I had too many moments where I asked, "Why?" Too many moments where I said, "Show me where it says that." Too many moments where I wanted to know why we were told this over here and then two Sundays later told something over there that contradicts the first thing. And told both are absolute and right because both are the direct word of God sent to man. Prophets, scribes, and ministers are all human and all fallible. They aren't divine avatars of the heavenly source. If they are fallible, their guidance can be corrupted to meet their personal ends and can be bought by whoever needs votes and/or allegiance. It comes down to I don't trust anyone else to tell me what to think who also tells me to never question their direction. I have too many questions for that and too few answers I can trust. So I read the book. And I read the books some counsel decided weren't real books with a capital "B" in the middle ages. And I read other religious texts. And I read books about spiritual paths to enlightenment, meditation practices, philosophies. I read, I watched, I listened ... and I found it all beautiful but lacking. I have never seen myself fitting into any organized religion I have studied.

Jesus seems like he was a nice enough man. He asked us to love one another. He asked us to feed the poor and sick, to share fellowship with anyone who wanted to learn of God no matter their station. He told us the church was for spiritual things and not for material commerce or politics. He was a teacher and minister who practiced what he preached and is deserving of respect and reverence in my book. The church that sprang up after his death? I'm not so sure about it.

I took a few theology classes in college. They were a requirement for my Presbyterian institution. I chose to take a class on the Old Testament, one on the New Testament, and one on Southeast Asian religions and culture. The OT class was probably exactly what you would imagine. Fire and Brimstone, Hell and Damnation, humans continually misbehaving and God doling out punishments because he loves them. The OT is chock full of Thou Shall Nots. An all-knowing, all-powerful being creates two innocent, curious humans (maybe three ... it depends on the text) and puts them in a garden paradise full of wonder. There's a tree that grows fruit on it, and this one fruit God says they must never eat of it. And of course they do. Nothing else in that garden is harmful to them, and they are curious creatures. Wouldn't you want to eat a fruit that comes from a tree called the Tree of Knowledge? I would. And then the punishments and darkness begins and just doesn't end. It's one catastrophe after another. There isn't a lot of peace and love and happiness in the Old Testament. 

And the New Testament is about a carpenter's son who becomes a teacher and minister. He promotes love and generosity and acceptance. He teaches a separation of religion and state. Don't believe me? Mark 12:17 Jesus said to them, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” And they marveled at him. He didn't toe the line when it came to following traditions and teachings already in place within the Jewish faith. And this gentle, kind man who fed the poor and healed the sick ... they killed him for teaching his followers a different truth than theirs. And God let them do this to his messenger among his favored people.

If destiny or fate or whatever you want to call a pre-determine path exists, and it is all God's plan, then what the hell kind of plan is it? God set up a situation where Adam and Eve are destined to fail and fall from Grace (if all is within God's plan as people say), and then God punished them for fulfilling their destinies? God sent Jesus to fulfill the promises of the Old Testament only for him to suffer and die at the hands of the people he was sent to save? What kind of twisted fate have we all been given? People suffer and die horribly. Sickness ravages on all sides. People are killed every day for just existing. Being different is dangerous in so many ways. It's not just the deserving of suffering who are punished either. Often the best of us go first and worst. Sermons tell us if we live our lives well and we treat each other with genuine love and kindness that we will be rewarded. God loves us and will protect us. That's not what the world shows us every day though. It shows us that the rewards go to those who take what they want. Rewards go to the rich and the violent and the lucky. It often has little to do with earning the rewards.

I don't understand it, and my heart breaks for it. My soul aches for understanding of what this is all for and why good people are left to suffer without comfort.

And after this is all over, and we've suffered blindly through our earthly existence, there's the question of the afterlife. What comes after this? Is it more suffering in some hell dimension, some angelic paradise, or do we get shunted into a new infant body to do it all over again? The medieval church and Milton really created and spread the vivid and grotesque images we have of Hell today. If I were to buy into all the rest and believe in a Christian afterlife, I would think that Hell would be to exist outside of the presence and influence of God. It would be a sad continuation of your soul without purpose. I can't see a hell filled with caverns and lakes and rivers of torture. It seems a bit preposterous. And what would be the purpose of it all if the soul has already been sentenced to its fate? Shouldn't suffering have a purpose? Shouldn't it be the goad that pushes the soul to find redemption so that it could eventually join the others in God's circle? The image of the Heavenly host of angels and souls and the golden gate and city in the clouds is a bit ridiculous to me too. If we are going with a conscious Heaven, I rather like the Greek version of the Elysian fields. We get to live in our happiest moments and places forever with our families and friends. I would want to go where the puppies go. Fields of wildflowers to run through and butterflies to chase for the joy of running and not catching. Other puppies and humans to romp with. Sunshine to sleep in and cool water to drink and play in. A puppy Heaven sounds like the best Heaven. I find it hard to buy into any one version though because they all seem ... off, and flawed in some way.

Ultimately I think I most believe in the continuation of energy. The Law of Conservation of Energy says that energy can neither be created nor destroyed - only converted from one form of energy to another. We as humans at the very particle level of our existence are energy. I would think our souls would be energy too, a giant sentient battery that powers these bodies. When we die, the energy that was our physical form becomes food for other creatures still on their life journey and eventually becomes dirt for seeds to germinate in and grow into plants. Our souls are released from those husks. No longer trapped in a single form, they are free. So much energy. Maybe the energy that was at the core of me would become the energy that powers the current of a mountain stream or the energy that creates the gust of wind that twirls a whirlwind of snowflakes onto a dancing child's outstretched tongue. Maybe the energy that was me will be a ray of sunshine that helps a perfect purple crocus burst up through the snow in the Spring. Maybe all of the energy that powers everything around us is soul energy. Maybe I'll still have a notion of myself or maybe self will be gone entirely and all is just energy that powers the design of a higher being. God is in everything and everyone, and when we die we return to the formless energy we began as, a seamless part of God again. There's a simplicity and peace to it that makes me smile.

It makes me think of my favorite religious themed movie, Stigmata, where Jesus describes the world and his and God's relation to it (paraphrased here) "The Kingdom is within you and it is outside of you, not in buildings or mansions made with human hands. Split a piece of wood and I am there, lift a stone and you will find me." The gospel of St. Thomas adds more to this, "Jesus said: I am the light that is above them all. I am the all; the all came forth from me, and the all attained to me." The Creator whoever you believe that is, Heaven, the Universe is within us all and around us all, and at some space in time we shall every one of us return to the All. I think in that is the Truth.

Roots of Your Craft 30-Day Challenge

Roots of Your Craft 30-Day Challenge

Divination. Does it work? Would you use it? What do you think of those who do? Why?

I believe that divination does work, but I do not believe it can ever be 100% accurate. The future is never set in stone, and one tiny change can send out ripples that change everything. So, for me, divination is a slippery slope to climb. Does knowing what could happen make it more likely to happen? Do we unconsciously work to fulfill our own prophecy without realizing it? I'm not sure. For this reason, I might use divination tools to gain insight on a situation that is troubling me, but I would never seek to know the ins and outs of the future.

What do you think Magick actually is? What is the power or force behind witchcraft?

I think any magick that exists comes both from within us and from nature and the cosmos around us. Every plant and animal is made up of living energy, and when it dies, the particles of energy carry on in another form. The energy itself never dies. I think people, when they open themselves to their innate ability, are able to sense and touch that flow of energy that is constantly around us. I think that's what magick is.

How powerful do you believe Magick to be, and why?  

Believing that magick is the energy of the cosmos, I also believe that magic is both finite and everlasting. There will never be more or less energy than exists right now. The kinetic potential of everything that can be is already here. Everything has has ever been is still here as well. The only thing that changes is our belief, openness, and ability to access that energy.

What are your beliefs about ethics and morality? Do you think practicing witchcraft will change your views? If so, how?

I believe the same things are right and wrong now as I did when I was growing up in the Christian church. That hasn't changed with the evolution of my personal spiritual beliefs. Basic human rights should trump everything else. No one should be judged lacking and discriminated against because of their race or ethnicity, their gender, their sexual orientation, their gender identity, their religious beliefs, etc. My personal ethics and beliefs on morality should never dictate laws that are applied to the population at large. Morality should not dictate the law because morality is subjective and changes with every perspective.

Do you plan to be open about witchcraft to people you know? Why or why not?  

While I am not part of an organized group of practitioners because I do not trust organized religion of any kind, I do not hide my own beliefs. I am always open to discussion with anyone as long as it is civil. I spent too much of my life hiding various parts of myself that I do not care to do that at all anymore. Take me as I am or not at all.

What kind of belief system were you raised with? Do you feel it suits you, or are you making a change?

I was raised in the Christian church. My mother was raised Southern Baptist. My father was raised Methodist. When they had me and started taking me to church, they chose to explore other denominations. We went to a Church of God of Prophecy for several years, a Primitive Baptist church, and various non-denominational Protestant churches. In the rural South, honestly they are all very similar. There are important and meaningful messages to be gained from Christianity. Being Christ-like is a beautiful ideal to strive toward. But, the organized religion part of Christianity mucks up the message so much with prejudice and hate that I find it hard to reconcile the good with the bad. People are fallible no matter how holy they attempt to be. I do not want nor will I abide someone else deciding what is right or wrong or holy on my behalf. I have two eyes and a brain of my own. I can read and study and seek knowledge for myself so that I can make my own decisions on what is right for me.

What was your earliest memorable exposure to the concept of witchcraft? How did it influence your interest in it?  

Appalachia is full of Grandmothers with home remedies, family traditions, and old wives' tales that have guided their households for generations. Very few would call it Witchcraft. Many go about doing these things on a daily basis in the name of their Lord. Seventh sons of seventh sons can cure certain ailments and treat wounds/burns. Planting by the signs is common, and many know which herbs and other woodland plants to use for all sorts of cures and preventatives. They learned these things in Scotland and Ireland and Wales and brought the traditions with them to a new continent. They keep the practices alive both out of tradition and out of the necessity of Poverty. Practical magicks and wisdoms are what influence me most.

Do you think you will work with or worship deities as part of your Craft? Why or why not?  

I'm not sure for me that it is about choosing a deity to work through or for. I have respect for the cultural deities and the people who worship them. I am happy to honor their presence and purpose. My beliefs fall more into honoring natural and forces that guide and shape the world around us than a specific deity or pantheon. There are one or two that I feel a certain kinship with, and I will find ways to acknowledge them.

What do you think your life will be like in five years, magically speaking?

I have for years pushed aside the part of me that wanted to explore more spiritual things. I pushed it away for my parents who wouldn't have understood for the most part. Now that they are both gone, there's no reason to push it away any longer. 

If you could list one thing that you hope to gain from practicing witchcraft, what would it be?

Peace. Quietness of mind.

Which of the four classical elements best describes you at the beginning of your journey? (Earth, Wind, Air, or Fire)

Water. I've always been water. Water can be soothing and and gentle, refreshing and replenishing, but it can also be destructive and frighteningly dark and deep and unforgivingly harsh. The duality of being something that is the essence of life and also something that is fathomless and unknowable has always drawn me.

If you’ve practiced spellcraft, what was the experience of casting your first spell like? If you’ve not yet cast one, what do you think your first spell will be and why?

I ask for blessings and offer thanks for those blessings. I ask for advice and guidance. I very rarely use what I would call an actual spell. For me it is more about doing things with intention than the ritual of spellcasting.

Are there any witches or magicians in fiction or history that you particularly admire? Why or why not?

I will have to think on this.

If you were to think of your beginnings in witchcraft as a certain color, what color would it be and why?  

A sea of green. It's the color of the crops in the garden that fed our family year after year. It's the color of the herbs that seasoned our meals. The grass beneath my our feet as we played. The trees that covered the mountains that I grew up in. Green is Life. Green is Health. Green is Wealth.

What are your general thoughts about newer magical traditions such as pop culture spells, and technowitchery?

With new technology and evolving culture comes new tools that are at our convenience. Nothing is inherently bad or good. It just depends on how it is being used.

What are your general thoughts about older magical traditions such as rune Magick, kabbalah and esoteric eastern traditions?

Runes are a tool of divination just like tarot, pendulums, spirit boards, and bones. If drawing and reading runes feels right for you, do it. If it doesn't, they aren't a tool that you have to use. You get to make the rules for you. It's the same with any other tool or resource you happen across. If you read a text and gain something meaningful from it, use that new knowledge to enrich your practice. If you read it, and it doesn't speak to you, maybe it wasn't meant for you. Either option is okay.

Do you think that tradition is important in witchcraft? Why or why not?

I think we can learn a lot from traditions that are passed on by more experienced practitioners. Knowledge is power, and some knowledge can't be gained just by reading a description on a page. Some knowledge is best shared verbally while brewing a a pot of fire cider for the cold season or tactilely while applying a poultice to a burned arm or visually when Grandma points out which berries are good for eating and brewing and which are poisonous. But I also believe traditions should not be allowed to hold us back. We can take in all of the things that traditions can teach us and then transform those lessons by pairing them with implements, rituals, and environments that closer match our day to day experiences. If we can't use what we learn to improve our lives and the lives of others, what good is it? Everything changes. The world changes, and we have to change with it to stay relevant.

What role do you think dreams play in magical life, if any? Why or why not?

I think dreams are our sleeping mind's way of working through problems that we do not want to deal with while awake. If we study them and their patterns, I think we could potentially learn more about how to deal with the issues that plague us. I have dabbled here and there with dream interpretation, but it's not my forte.

Are you more aligned with chaos or order in terms of the Magick you have or will practice? What do you think Magick itself is more aligned with?

Nature has an order to it, and I think magick does as well. But like everyday life, some things happen for a reason and make perfect sense and some things are unexpected and happen by chance. Chaos does not have to be at odds with order. There can be a place for chaos within the order of the world.

Curses. Do they work? Would you use them? What do you think of those who do? Why?

If the person you curse believes in the power of your curse, it will be more likely to work. That may be because of your innate power, or it may be a self-fulfilling curse in that the person believes something bad is going to happen to them and so subconsciously sabotages themselves. I would never place a curse on anyone. I do not believe in purposefully seeking to do harm to anyone. Nothing good or fulfilling can come of it. Only bad for them and bad for you.

Blessings and protective Magick. Do they work? Would you use them? What do you think of those who do? Why?

I believe they can work. If you believe that a spell/ritual, crystal, charm, etc. will protect you, then it is likely to work. Do I think wearing a certain crystal and burning a particular color candle will keep you from getting shot in an unsafe part of town? Uh, no.  Do I think it replaces my home security alarm or my door locks? No. You have to use common sense too. But can it hurt to bless my house and ask a higher power than me to look over my home and family? No, I can't see how that can be a bad thing.

Do you have an affinity with an animal or type of animal? What does it mean to you? If you don’t, but had to have one, what do you think it would be?

I do not have an animal spirit guide if that's what you mean, and I do not have a familiar. I do enjoy being around farm animals, and I rarely meet a dog I can't be friends with. I wouldn't call it an affinity though.

Do you think that there is any potential in utilizing certain ritual places or “ley-lines” between ritual places? Why or why not?

I do think some places have inherent power not because of what is built there or what grows there or what people once called that land home. It has power because power was always there. The place is the power. I think a lot of people are very naturally either drawn to or repelled by those places. There are places that I have been that I have immediately felt were different than what I consider normal. Some felt good and welcoming to me, and others didn't. I would imagine over the years many others have felt the same, and it would only be natural for sacred places of all cultures to arise around these charged areas, intentional or not.

What role does the archetype of death play in magic to you, if any? Why or why not?

Everything, plant ... animal ... people, die. It's a commonality that we all share and will all one day experience. Death is part of the natural cycle of things and therefore is a part of magic as well.

What do you think of practicing magic in a group setting? What about practicing alone? Why?

I've been burned by organized religion one too many times to ever be comfortable in a group setting regardless of the religion being practiced. More than two people and someone then has to be the leader. And having a leader equals rules lawyering, and I am not about that when it comes to my personal beliefs and practices. I can study and education myself so that I can make the best choices for myself. I do not need nor do I want someone else to try and foist their beliefs and rules upon me. If I wanted that, I'd still be going to church.