Translating a Memory into Art - Part 2 - Memorial Tattoo for Mama

Both of my parents passed away in 2020. Nothing makes you realize how very few photos you have of your loved ones than when you have to grapple with the thought of never being able to take a new photo or make a new memories. The memories my mind holds are the only memories I will every have of my mother and my father. I will never be able to get another hug or ask for another piece of advice or hear their voices again. 

My parents lost my older siblings at or shortly after birth, so I grew up an only child. With both of my parents gone, there are memories of me and of our family that no one living has memories of and others that only my memories are left. I never realized the burden of being the keeper of memory would be so weighty or that it would come to me so soon.

A few years ago, I got a memorial tattoo of my father. This year, I finally decided on a design for my mother. My mother loved all of the children in her life. Nieces and nephews, neighborhood children, kids that belonged to friends and other family members. There was always room for another plate at our table or a place for someone to sleep in our house if they needed it. If a child needed comfort for anything, she was there.

In many of the pictures I have of her and in so many memories, my mother was rocking a baby or small child to sleep or holding their hand as they learned to walk or helping them put together a new toy to play with. This picture (left) is a perfect example.

So that is what I decided to send to my tattoo artist as inspiration for my new tattoo. I also found a drawing by Soosh of a mother and child in a very similar pose that I sent along as well. I love the line drawing and water color style of it, and it would mesh very well with the memorial tattoo I had of my dad already.

I think it turned our perfectly. The only thing I had my artist update from the drawing she showed me was the color of Mama's hair. She had it more red and less blonde. If you knew my mother, you probably remember that she absolutely did have reddish blonde hair. She, however, would correct anyone in a flat second who tried to say she did. For most of my life she even went regularly to the salon to have blonde and gray "frosting" streaks put in her hair to make it more blonde and less red. I never understood why. I always thought her hair was very pretty all on its own. That said, I laughed and told my artist that Mama would haunt me if I had a tattoo done of her and made her hair its natural color, so we went more blonde.

I love that my artist matched the color of the foot pajamas I am wearing in this tattoo to the color of the shirt I am wearing in the memorial tattoo for my dad. She also matched my pigtail hairstyle too. Both memorial pieces are in the inside of my left arm, one upper and one lower arm. I wanted them both where I could see them anytime, and I wanted them on the side of my body closest to my heart. You can see my dad's memorial tattoo HERE. Hopefully my next tattoo will be one surrounding happier things and not another memorial piece.

Translating a Memory into Art

 

Since shortly after my dad passed away, I have been thinking about a way to memorialize him. I wanted it to be something that presented our relationship and the things that we enjoyed doing together. I wanted it to be something that anyone who knew him would look at it and go, "That makes me think of your Daddy." I went through a few ideas. I discarded a lot of them. I had decided on a screw driver. I wanted it to look like one of his old Craftsman screw drivers. For most of my life, I was sure he had the tools needed to fix anything in the world in that red box. I checked with my tattoo shop, and my regular artists' books were closed. I inquired about seeing one of the other artists because all of them there are very talented. None were interested in doing the piece for me.

A year or so later, I was visiting with a friend and admired his new tattoo. And then a few months after that saw another friend with a tattoo from the same artist. I took a chance and reached out with my ideas to see if she might be interested in doing the piece for me. She was. I sent some inspiration artwork I had found on Instagram (The artist Soosh does amazing artwork of moms and dads with their children) along with some photos of me and my dad and a few stories about our relationship. My one request was that the screwdriver and toolbox be red and that it should be placed somewhere that I could always see it.

She took all of that inspiration and made the idea so much better than I had dreamed. The father really looks like my father, and little girl looks like me as a kid. The number of times we were stretched out on the living room floor with all sorts of parts strewn around us reading directions on how to put together a new piece of furniture or fixing something that was broken in the house or on the car. I was his helper in every project that he'd let me be involved in (and that was a yes to most). Some of my best memories are me being covered to the elbow in grease from working on a car or handing the appropriate tools to my dad as he called for them surgical nurse style.

It makes me happy that I can look down at any time and see the representation of so many memories.

Letters to the Beyond: To Daddy

 

01/04/2023

Daddy,

I miss you more than words can express. I miss picking up the phone and calling you just to talk. I miss discussing the books we're reading and the television shows we've both been watching. I miss buying you the newest gadgets. I miss being able to ask you how to fix something that's broken or asking you for advice on a new plan we have for just about anything. You were my sounding board for life. Mostly I just miss hearing your voice. I miss you laugh and how you said my name. I miss knowing that you're there.

I know your brothers miss you too. You were their anchor that held the family together. Without you and Mama, we are all adrift. I hope they are keeping in touch on their own. I try and reach out to each of them every now and then just to check in and see how they are doing. 

I hope this letter finds you happy, covered in grease, pockets full of tools and keys, with your hounds by your side. I'm sure even in a perfect Heaven there'd be things in need of fixing and dogs in need of pets.

Love,

Your Doodlebug

1/28/2023

Hi Daddy,

I am starting another year without you, and I miss you and Mama terribly. I miss the sound of your voices and the feel of your hugs. I miss being able to ask for your advice, but mostly just being able to talk to you about a little of everything. You are going to laugh, but I even miss you two bickering. Not a lot on that one, but a little.

Please watch over Grandmother if you can. She fell and ended up in the hospital for a few days. Now she's in a rehabilitation center going through physical therapy so hopefully she can be strong enough to go home soon. She's been there two months. She's made a lot of progress during that time, but she has a ways to go. Her walking has been improving, but she still can't get up from the bed without help. That's scary. Hopefully she'll be able to reach a point where she can go back home safely and there are no more falls. Please keep an eye on her for us and send some encouragement and healing her way if you can.

Love,

Ralene