On the Passing of a Great Lady

 My last living grandparent passed away last week. My grandmother was a great lady and a force of nature, and she will be missed dearly. She was the last connection I had to my mother, the last person who had known us both since birth. With both my grandfather and my mother already gone before her, she was the last glue holding the remains of our family together. After she had to leave her home for medical reasons, arguments and hard feelings started to divide family gatherings. Now that she is gone, I won't be surprised to see all of us drift even further apart.

My grandmother was the keeper of our family history and for me especially the keeper of our family recipes. I could always call her (and often did) to ask about that cake Aunt Ruth made or that orange sherbet punch Aunt Jean made for baby showers and wedding receptions or the Spanish Rice Aunt Sarah brought to family reunions. Grandmother and Mama knew all the recipes and could tell me what I had forgotten or gotten wrong just by having me describe it to them.

She was quick to laugh, and I remember her singing when she cooked when I was little. I rarely heard her voice raised in anger. I was always welcome in her home, and whatever friends I brought along were treated like family too. We will not be the same without her.

Translating a Memory into Art

 

Since shortly after my dad passed away, I have been thinking about a way to memorialize him. I wanted it to be something that presented our relationship and the things that we enjoyed doing together. I wanted it to be something that anyone who knew him would look at it and go, "That makes me think of your Daddy." I went through a few ideas. I discarded a lot of them. I had decided on a screw driver. I wanted it to look like one of his old Craftsman screw drivers. For most of my life, I was sure he had the tools needed to fix anything in the world in that red box. I checked with my tattoo shop, and my regular artists' books were closed. I inquired about seeing one of the other artists because all of them there are very talented. None were interested in doing the piece for me.

A year or so later, I was visiting with a friend and admired his new tattoo. And then a few months after that saw another friend with a tattoo from the same artist. I took a chance and reached out with my ideas to see if she might be interested in doing the piece for me. She was. I sent some inspiration artwork I had found on Instagram (The artist Soosh does amazing artwork of moms and dads with their children) along with some photos of me and my dad and a few stories about our relationship. My one request was that the screwdriver and toolbox be red and that it should be placed somewhere that I could always see it.

She took all of that inspiration and made the idea so much better than I had dreamed. The father really looks like my father, and little girl looks like me as a kid. The number of times we were stretched out on the living room floor with all sorts of parts strewn around us reading directions on how to put together a new piece of furniture or fixing something that was broken in the house or on the car. I was his helper in every project that he'd let me be involved in (and that was a yes to most). Some of my best memories are me being covered to the elbow in grease from working on a car or handing the appropriate tools to my dad as he called for them surgical nurse style.

It makes me happy that I can look down at any time and see the representation of so many memories.

Mixing Up Magic in the Kitchen - Holiday Edition

What recipes do you always make around the holidays? My family always made a few every year. They were a ritual. There were so many things attached to each food. Memories of childhood. Memories of family members who were no longer with us. The ritual of mixing and stirring and seasoning that seems so magical when it all comes out just as you planned. I will share a few of my favorites here.

I remember some about my Great Grandmother Smith before dementia began to ravage her, but not a lot. From the stories that my grandfather and grandmother told, she liked cooking, but it wasn't really her strong suit. There were a few dishes though that everyone loved, especially my grandfather, so we made them each year for the holidays. It was a way us to help him remember her and honor her.

Photo from Recipes.net

Old Fashioned Potato Candy

 

1 large white potato (peeled and boiled)

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/8 teaspoon salt

6-7 cups of powdered sugar

Smooth peanut butter of your choice

1 Tablespoon of water or milk

Food coloring (optional)

 

Peel and boil 1 large white potato until tender. Mash potato until smooth of lumps. Add vanilla extract and stir into potato. Add the tablespoon of water or milk if extra liquid is needed to smooth the mixture. If you would like to make your dough different colors, add in your food coloring now. Sometimes my great grandmother would split the batch into three parts and do red, green, and white for the holiday. We most often skipped the food coloring part.

 

Begin adding the powdered sugar one cup at a time until you are able to create a dough similar to a sugar cookie dough.

 

Roll out dough using extra powdered sugar to dust surface to prevent sticking. You want the finished dough to be about 1/8 inch thick when you are done rolling.

 

Spread peanut butter over the top surface of the dough. We always used smooth peanut butter because it was my family’s overall preference, but I suppose you could use crunchy as well for added texture.

 

Starting at one of the long sides, tightly roll up dough, like a jelly roll. Wrap in parchment paper and freeze for 30 minutes to an hour. Until firm. Slice into ¼ inch pieces and serve. Store in the refrigerator.

My Life in Music

Childhood

Miracle by Celine Dion

A Different World by Bucky Covington

I've Been Dreaming of a Smoky Mountain Christmas by Dolly Parton

Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Daughters by John Mayer

The Last Unicorn by Jimmy Web (The Last Unicorn Soundtrack)

American Friday Night by Buddy Covington

Christmas in Dixie by Alabama

Hard Candy Christmas by Dolly Parton

Sweet Southern Comfort by Buddy Jewell

Daddy's Girl by Red Sovine

Magic Dance by David Bowie (Labyrinth Soundtrack)

These are the Days by 10,000 Maniacs

I Want to be a Cowboy’s Sweetheart by Patsy Montana

Walking After Midnight by Patsy Cline

Loved by the Sun By Tangerine Dream (Legend Soundtrack)

Seven Spanish Angels by Ray Charles and Willie Nelson

Nothing is Gonna Stop Us Now by Jefferson Starship

Young Adulthood

Enter Sandman by Metallica

Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nivrana

Lambada by Kid Creole and the Coconuts

Waterfalls by TLC

Big Empty by Stone Temple Pilots

Losing My Religion by R.E.M.

Girls Just Want to Have Fun by Cindi Lauper

The World I Know by Collective Soul

Claudia by South FM

Burn by The Cure

Bitch by Meredith Brooks

Free Your Mind by En Vogue

Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden

Nothing Else Matters by Metallica

Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne

Criminal by Fiona Apple

Invincible by Pat Benatar

Stupid Girl by Garbage

If it Ain't Got That Swing by Benny Goodman

Jump Jive an’ Wail by The Brian Setzer Orchestra

Hell by Squirrel Nut Zipper

Freak on a Leash by Korn

The Bondage Song by Tiamat

Blue Monday by Orgy

Jeremy by Pearl Jam

Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson

One of Us by Joan Osborne

Like a Prayer by Madonna

Linger by The Cranberries

My Last Semester by The Wonder Years

Photograph by Nickleback

Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen by Baz Luhrman

One Headlight by The Wallflowers

Meet Virginia by Train

Feel Good Inc by Gorillaz

You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive by Darrell Scott

I’m Free by The Who

Adulthood Part I

Unwritten By Natasha Bedingfield

No Rain by Blind Melon

What's Up by Four Non Blondes

For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert

Last Friday Night by Katie Perry

Snuff by Slipknot

Love You to Death by Type O Negative

A Song for a Friend by Jason Mraz

We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel

What’s Going On? By Compilation of Various Artists Tribute

Passenger by Deftones

Adulthood Part II

Every Breath You Take by The Police

You Don't Own Me By Lesley Gore

Express Yourself by Madonna

Sing by Chemical Romance

A Perfect Twist by Mike Patton

Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve

Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls

I Will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan

Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw

Adulthood Part III

Don't Let Me Get Me by Pink

Pleasure Slave by Manowar

Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson

Bring Me to Life by Evanescence

Breath Control by Recoil

Beautiful by Christina Aguilera

Closer by Nine Inch Nails

The Reason by Hoobastank

Someone Like You by Adele

Take a Bow by Madonna

Teddy Bear by Red Rovine

Lips of an Angel by Hinder

Not Ready to Make Nice by Dixie Chicks

Adulthood Part IV

Firework by Katie Perry

Girls Just Want to Have Fun by Cindi Lauper

Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen

Damn I Wish I was you Lover by Sophie B. Hawkins

Rebel Yell by Billy Idol

El Tango de Roxanne from Moulin Rouge Soundtrack

Control By Puddle of Mud

Missundaztood by Pink

I Know the Truth on the Aida Soundtrack

Human Nature by Madonna

Don’t Speak by No Doubt

Sonny Came Home by Shawn Colvin

Stronger by Britney Spears

A Woman’s Worth by Alicia Keys

Unwritten By Natasha Bedingfield

G33K G4M3R Girls by Team Unicorn

Born This Way by Lady Gaga

Everything You Want by Splendor

There You Go by Pink

I Kissed a Girl by Katie Perry

Venus in Furs by The Velvet Underground

Bad Things by Jace Everett

If it’s Not God by Maddie Zahm

Losing My Religion by R.E.M.

I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing by Aerosmith

My Little Girl by Tim McGraw

Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars

Going to the Chapel by The Dixie Cups

Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton

I Loved Her First by Heartland

Try it On My Own by Whitney Houston

Fraoch A Ronaigh by Mouth Music

Hero – Enrique Iglesias

All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor

I've Had the Time of My Life by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes

Adulthood Part V

I Didn’t Know I’d Love You So Much from the Repo Genetic Opera Soundtrack

Mad Mad World by Gary Jules

The Sound of Silence by Disturbed

Will The Circle Be Unbroken by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band／Johnny Cash／Ricky Skaggs

Just a Rose Will Do by The Reese Sisters

Who's Going to Fill Their Shoes by George Jones

The Living Years by Mike and the Mechanics

Somebody that I used to Know by Kimbra and Gotye

So Far Away by Avenged Sevenfold

Because of You by Reba McIntyre and Kelly Clarkson

Adulthood Part VI ...

This is Me by Keala Settle

The Land Unknown by Landon Blood

Blue Side of the Mountain by The SteelDrivers

W.I.T.C.H by Devon Cole