With Fear for our Democracy, I Dissent - 2024 Election

I will preface this with, I’m not asking for a Trump supporter to try and convince me why they support him. I just need to say what I have been feeling. You can read or not read, agree or disagree.

We only have a week until the presidential election. A week to worry. A week to stress. A week to protect fragile hope. The 2016 results were shocking. I will always remember crying in our living room. I didn’t understand then and eight years later I still do not understand now how people could vote for a person who knowingly and happily denigrates women, disrespects military service people, mocks disabled citizens, and wants to actively rip away rights and protections for minorities and LGBTQIA+ Americans. It isn’t someone saying he did those things. We all heard his words and saw his actions. I know decent people who voted for that, and I still do not understand why.

In 2020, when he and his party lost, I dared to hope that it would be a turning point for the good. I thought perhaps those followers would wake up to the deceptions. And some did. But so many more haven’t even blinked. And now we are up for another election, and he is still using his followers and celebrity and sheer incomprehensibility to try and avoid punishment for the criminal activity he has been both charged with and convicted. When have we ever had a presidential candidate who has had dozens of convictions on their record and who has been investigated for treason against our country? If there was a hint of any one of these charges with a past candidate, nothing would have saved them in the eye of the public. The Republican party would have been the first to judge. Where is that judgement now?

All to say, I am scared about this election. I was horrified in 2016, but I had hope that good people were just misled. I thought if we all survived those four years, we (those people included) would come together to fix the mess we were in. In 2020, I was disillusioned at seeing the number of people still casting their votes for him with full knowledge of what he had done the previous four years. But, when he wasn’t elected, I was cautiously hopeful that there were more people who would stand against that sort of malignancy infecting our country. And now we are four years forward, still recovering, still fighting, still holding on to that tiny hope as we once again see our friends and family and neighbors continue to support a monster. I am more frightened this year than I was the prior two election years. We all know his wants and desires for this country. We know what he’s capable of, and we know that his party will not stand against him when it counts.

I’ve heard dozens of excuses for voting for him. That’s what they are … excuses. I’ll be honest, if someone tells me they are voting for that monster, I don’t care why anymore. It’s way past time for individual grievances and justifications. None of them come close to balancing the scale of what we know about what he believes, supports, and has actively allowed or participated in. There is no comparison.

I take my first statement back. If you, after everything, are still a Trump supporter, I would rather you just quietly unfriend/unfollow me on every outlet, lose my e-mail or phone number. No leaving announcement needed. If you support him as a candidate to lead our country and make decisions about our future, then I have to think you also harbor hate and disrespect in your hearts for women and girls, the LGBTQIA+ community, disabled individuals, military men and women, people of color, immigrants, and anyone else who does not fit into your tiny world view of perfection.

And before someone says I shouldn’t let politics come between me and the people I love. It’s not. This isn’t politics. This isn’t a discussion about tax rates or military spending or how state budgets are used or which party anyone belongs to. It’s about the most basic rights and common decency. It’s about being human and wanting equality in all areas of life for everyone whether we agree/approve of them or not. Will I ever understand your choice to continue to support Trump or anyone like him? No. Do I believe in the deepest part of my heart that you deserve the right to medical care when you are sick, the right to love and marry whichever adult you want, the right to be paid for your worth as an employee, to be treated equally regardless of your race or gender or sexual orientation, to have control over your own body and freedom? Yes. Without question. I do not have to agree with you, like you, or even know you to believe you deserve those things. My greatest wish is for you to want the same.

We are our Mothers' Daughters

"The women who are counted as true Daughters of Appalachia were seldom gentle flowers as flowers only lasted a season. The women born in the shadow of the mountains stand and thrive through all four (seasons) without complaining. Wouldn’t do no good anyhow. The greatness of mountain families are built upon the bones of such women, rock-spine matriarchs and Mamaws who survived the bad times, the bad weather, and bad men like it was their job because frankly, it was." -- Old Gods of Appalachia, Build Mama a Coffin ep. 1

My mother and the friends' mothers who helped raise me were all strong women each in their own way. My grandmothers and great grandmothers too. Some were strong by nature, and some were strong because life made or required them to be that. They farmed and cooked and cleaned and sewed and worked until their backs ached and their fingers cracked. They were quick to laugh and hug, and there was always a cookie or slice of cake just for you. Recipes were shared with the memories of how they learned them. There were songs in the kitchen while you helped roll and cut out the biscuits or mix the cornbread. Sewing was taught. Gardening was a full family activity. Snapping beans til your fingers were sore and green and husking corn and canning everything that grew so that we could all eat well over the winter. I have learned so much from the women in my family, and I am still learning. My Mama's gone now, but I can and do still call my remaining grandmother regularly. I call just to talk mostly, but sometimes it's to ask for a special recipe or how to grow a certain vegetable or why my beans didn't taste like hers. I cherish all the time I have with her and will never not have questions to ask her or memories to share.

I learned from them to love fiercely, to be generous of spirit, and to be a stubborn, tenacious thorn in someone's side when I believe what I am fighting for is right. They were protective until I could protect myself, and they taught me what I needed to know to be able to confidently go out on my own and succeed.

None of them were or are perfect women. They come from very different worlds from each other and different worlds than the one we find ourselves in today. Sometimes our views do not always mesh well with one another. But I never doubt they loved me and that I could call on them if I was in need.