Do We Have to be Blind to Believe?

 

Goddess Blind by NeverlandCreations

The last few days, my mind has dwelled on faith. I envy those who can believe blindly, and I fear them. Blind faith is a such a double-edged sword. It's likely to cut your head off as it allows you to slay your enemy. And it makes enemies of those you should love. I know that's cryptic sounding, but it's true.

I grew up in a religious family. Both of my parents were happiest when in their Christian church. Fellowship was important to them, and their church family was Family to them. Reading and hearing the Word brought peace to my father. I saw people gripped by the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues as a child. I saw people over joyed being baptized. I heard preachers give sermons of love and forgiveness and I heard others whose sermons sounded like they were straight out of "In the Hands of an Angry God." As in Polyanna, those essays on fire and brimstone would leave you with a sour stomach and a perpetual feeling of dread.

I was never happy to just sit in the pew on Sunday and let the minister tell me what God wants of me and how to go about achieving that. I had too many moments where I asked, "Why?" Too many moments where I said, "Show me where it says that." Too many moments where I wanted to know why we were told this over here and then two Sundays later told something over there that contradicts the first thing. And told both are absolute and right because both are the direct word of God sent to man. Prophets, scribes, and ministers are all human and all fallible. They aren't divine avatars of the heavenly source. If they are fallible, their guidance can be corrupted to meet their personal ends and can be bought by whoever needs votes and/or allegiance. It comes down to I don't trust anyone else to tell me what to think who also tells me to never question their direction. I have too many questions for that and too few answers I can trust. So I read the book. And I read the books some counsel decided weren't real books with a capital "B" in the middle ages. And I read other religious texts. And I read books about spiritual paths to enlightenment, meditation practices, philosophies. I read, I watched, I listened ... and I found it all beautiful but lacking. I have never seen myself fitting into any organized religion I have studied.

Jesus seems like he was a nice enough man. He asked us to love one another. He asked us to feed the poor and sick, to share fellowship with anyone who wanted to learn of God no matter their station. He told us the church was for spiritual things and not for material commerce or politics. He was a teacher and minister who practiced what he preached and is deserving of respect and reverence in my book. The church that sprang up after his death? I'm not so sure about it.

I took a few theology classes in college. They were a requirement for my Presbyterian institution. I chose to take a class on the Old Testament, one on the New Testament, and one on Southeast Asian religions and culture. The OT class was probably exactly what you would imagine. Fire and Brimstone, Hell and Damnation, humans continually misbehaving and God doling out punishments because he loves them. The OT is chock full of Thou Shall Nots. An all-knowing, all-powerful being creates two innocent, curious humans (maybe three ... it depends on the text) and puts them in a garden paradise full of wonder. There's a tree that grows fruit on it, and this one fruit God says they must never eat of it. And of course they do. Nothing else in that garden is harmful to them, and they are curious creatures. Wouldn't you want to eat a fruit that comes from a tree called the Tree of Knowledge? I would. And then the punishments and darkness begins and just doesn't end. It's one catastrophe after another. There isn't a lot of peace and love and happiness in the Old Testament. 

And the New Testament is about a carpenter's son who becomes a teacher and minister. He promotes love and generosity and acceptance. He teaches a separation of religion and state. Don't believe me? Mark 12:17 Jesus said to them, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” And they marveled at him. He didn't toe the line when it came to following traditions and teachings already in place within the Jewish faith. And this gentle, kind man who fed the poor and healed the sick ... they killed him for teaching his followers a different truth than theirs. And God let them do this to his messenger among his favored people.

If destiny or fate or whatever you want to call a pre-determine path exists, and it is all God's plan, then what the hell kind of plan is it? God set up a situation where Adam and Eve are destined to fail and fall from Grace (if all is within God's plan as people say), and then God punished them for fulfilling their destinies? God sent Jesus to fulfill the promises of the Old Testament only for him to suffer and die at the hands of the people he was sent to save? What kind of twisted fate have we all been given? People suffer and die horribly. Sickness ravages on all sides. People are killed every day for just existing. Being different is dangerous in so many ways. It's not just the deserving of suffering who are punished either. Often the best of us go first and worst. Sermons tell us if we live our lives well and we treat each other with genuine love and kindness that we will be rewarded. God loves us and will protect us. That's not what the world shows us every day though. It shows us that the rewards go to those who take what they want. Rewards go to the rich and the violent and the lucky. It often has little to do with earning the rewards.

I don't understand it, and my heart breaks for it. My soul aches for understanding of what this is all for and why good people are left to suffer without comfort.

And after this is all over, and we've suffered blindly through our earthly existence, there's the question of the afterlife. What comes after this? Is it more suffering in some hell dimension, some angelic paradise, or do we get shunted into a new infant body to do it all over again? The medieval church and Milton really created and spread the vivid and grotesque images we have of Hell today. If I were to buy into all the rest and believe in a Christian afterlife, I would think that Hell would be to exist outside of the presence and influence of God. It would be a sad continuation of your soul without purpose. I can't see a hell filled with caverns and lakes and rivers of torture. It seems a bit preposterous. And what would be the purpose of it all if the soul has already been sentenced to its fate? Shouldn't suffering have a purpose? Shouldn't it be the goad that pushes the soul to find redemption so that it could eventually join the others in God's circle? The image of the Heavenly host of angels and souls and the golden gate and city in the clouds is a bit ridiculous to me too. If we are going with a conscious Heaven, I rather like the Greek version of the Elysian fields. We get to live in our happiest moments and places forever with our families and friends. I would want to go where the puppies go. Fields of wildflowers to run through and butterflies to chase for the joy of running and not catching. Other puppies and humans to romp with. Sunshine to sleep in and cool water to drink and play in. A puppy Heaven sounds like the best Heaven. I find it hard to buy into any one version though because they all seem ... off, and flawed in some way.

Ultimately I think I most believe in the continuation of energy. The Law of Conservation of Energy says that energy can neither be created nor destroyed - only converted from one form of energy to another. We as humans at the very particle level of our existence are energy. I would think our souls would be energy too, a giant sentient battery that powers these bodies. When we die, the energy that was our physical form becomes food for other creatures still on their life journey and eventually becomes dirt for seeds to germinate in and grow into plants. Our souls are released from those husks. No longer trapped in a single form, they are free. So much energy. Maybe the energy that was at the core of me would become the energy that powers the current of a mountain stream or the energy that creates the gust of wind that twirls a whirlwind of snowflakes onto a dancing child's outstretched tongue. Maybe the energy that was me will be a ray of sunshine that helps a perfect purple crocus burst up through the snow in the Spring. Maybe all of the energy that powers everything around us is soul energy. Maybe I'll still have a notion of myself or maybe self will be gone entirely and all is just energy that powers the design of a higher being. God is in everything and everyone, and when we die we return to the formless energy we began as, a seamless part of God again. There's a simplicity and peace to it that makes me smile.

It makes me think of my favorite religious themed movie, Stigmata, where Jesus describes the world and his and God's relation to it (paraphrased here) "The Kingdom is within you and it is outside of you, not in buildings or mansions made with human hands. Split a piece of wood and I am there, lift a stone and you will find me." The gospel of St. Thomas adds more to this, "Jesus said: I am the light that is above them all. I am the all; the all came forth from me, and the all attained to me." The Creator whoever you believe that is, Heaven, the Universe is within us all and around us all, and at some space in time we shall every one of us return to the All. I think in that is the Truth.

Appalachian Home Remedies

This post is in no way a definitive list of Appalachian remedies, and I in no way am a physician to give you medical advice. These are just remedies, tonics, salves, and recipes that I have come in contact with in the lower Appalachian region that I grew up in. I will add more as I remember them or hear them again.

Wart Removal

Version 1

When you get a wart and want it gone, rub the wart with a penny. Then have someone else "buy" the wart from you. Give them the penny, and shortly after the warts will be gone. (The warts are not transferred to the new owner of the penny. What happens to the penny after does not matter.)

Version 2

When you get a wart and want it gone, rub the wart with a penny. After rubbing the wart you should wrap the penny in a scrap of white fabric and then bury it. Shortly after the warts will be gone.

How to Draw Out Fire

"There came an Angel from the East bearing frost and fire. In frost, out fire, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirt." --- Repeat three times or as many as needed to gain relief from burns.

Remove Ringworm and Athlete's Foot

Cut the green husk off of a walnut and score so that the shell is as flat as possible. Warm the husk in an iron skillet to allow it to release the oils. You can smell it. Take the husk out of the skillet and let it cool until it is warm but will not burn you if touched. Rub the inside of the husk against the area of skin affected by the fungus. Repeat for three to five days. The antifungal properties of the walnut husk should take care of the infection. ***Note: This will stain your skin temporarily, so be prepared for that.***

Pink Eye

Flush the affected eye with strong brewed cold coffee in the morning after waking and in the evening before bed.

Ear Ache and Tooth Ache

Salt Compress for Ear or Tooth Ache

Take a set of tube socks and place one within the other so that they are double thick. Set aside. Warm rock salt in an iron skillet. If you would like, add soothing herbs like chamomile, lavender, and mint to the warming salt. Once it is hot, carefully pour the salt into the doubled tube sock and tie off the end of the sock. Use as a warm compress on the ear to soothe the ache. The ear infection or tooth decay that is causing the pain will still need to be dealt with using antibiotics/dental procedure, but this will provide temporary relief. I am assuming you could do the same thing with rice, buckwheat, beans, or any other of the popular warming bag ingredients, but my Grandmother has always used salt.

Natural Anesthetic for Tooth Ache

Place a dried whole clove between the tooth that hurts at the gumline and your cheek like you would a cough drop. Clove has natural pain relief and antibacterial properties.

If using oils, mix clove oil with olive or coconut oil (2-3 drops clove oil mixed with 1 teaspoon of olive/coconut oil). Soak the tip of a cotton swab or a pinch of a cotton ball in the oil mixture and place it between the tooth that hurts at the gumline and your cheek. You can also just swab the area all around the tooth and remove the swab/ball. Reapply every 2-3 hours as needed. ***Note: It will taste bad. Also ingesting too much clove oil can cause stomach upset, so do not over apply.***

Recipes to Treat and Prevent Illness

Fire Cider (Take one Tablespoon a day as medicinal preventative in Fall and Winter to stave off colds and other seasonal sickness.)

1/2 cup thinly sliced fresh ginger (from two 4-inch pieces)
1 medium sized onion peeled and sliced thinly
1 head garlic, cloves smashed and peeled

1/2 cup peeled, diced fresh horseradish (I skip this one because I find it overpowering)

2 jalapeno or serrano chiles, halved lengthwise (you could use dried pepper flake or powdered cayenne pepper instead)

1 teaspoon whole black peppercorns (you can use white or pink peppercorns as well)

3 sprigs rosemary
2 cinnamon sticks

1 Tbs Tumeric powder
1 lemon, cut into 1 1/2-inch pieces
1/2 orange, cut into 1 1/2-inch pieces

2 cups raw, unfiltered apple-cider vinegar, such as Bragg, plus more as needed
1/3 to 1/2 cup honey, preferably raw and unfiltered

***The more powdered seasonings you use, the cloudier the finished cider will be. Whole seeds, leaves, vegetables are better when possible.***

Directions

Step 1

Placed your prepared dry ingredients in a quart jar pressing down to firmly pack in.  Add vinegar until ingredients are fully submerged and there is no more than 1 inch of headspace left in the jar. Close jar with either a screw top or standard ring and flat combo (if using a metal lid, place a piece of parchment between jar and lid to prevent a corrosive reaction with vinegar). Store in a cool, dark place, shaking for a few seconds every day or two, at least 3 weeks and up to 6 weeks.

***Note: This is not a ferment. This is an infusion. The ph of the vinegar should be high enough to inhibit any fermentation or bacterial growth.***

Step 2

After 3-6 weeks have passed, strain liquid out through cheesecloth or a fine-mesh sieve into a new jar. Discard solids. Stir in honey a little at a time tasting mixture after each addition. Stop when it reaches desired sweetness to your tastes. Store in a sealed container in refrigerator. If making a larger batch, you can divide it up and pressure can or hot water bath (because it is a high acid mixture).

Homemade Cough Syrup (Take one tablespoon as needed for cough.)

3-4 soft peppermint sticks
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/2 cup moonshine (or whiskey of your choice)
1 1/2 cups raw honey

Directions

Melt 3 of the peppermint sticks in 1/2 cup of water and 1/4 cup of lemon juice (or juice of 1 lemon). Bring to a light boil.

Add a half of cup of your chosen alcohol and 1.5 cups of raw honey to pot and reduce heat.

Stir to combine. Once mixture is smooth and honey is incorporated, remove from heat. 

Put 1 peppermint stick in a clean, heat safe jar. Using a funnel, pour the mixture over the peppermint stick. (I have sometimes seen people added a slice or two of lemon in at the end as well, but I am not sure if that would ferment given how much sugar is in the mix. If you are storing in the fridge citrus slices would be fine).

Let it cool. Store in cool dry place. 

Grief is a Funny Thing

Grief Painting by Strayer

Grief is a funny thing. It hits you at the oddest moments and over the most seemingly insignificant things. It's been just over a year since my mother passed away, and it's been not quite two years since my father passed. It was so sudden and unexpected with my dad. He had beat cancer, not once but twice in the previous six years. He had mostly recovered from his experimental treatments, and the doctors had finally lifted the last of the restrictions that were put in place after his stem cell transplant. He was having his two year anniversary of the transplant in less than two weeks. We were planning to get together after he got back from his last check-in with the transplant team. He wanted to go on an Alaska cruise now that he was retired and could be around people again. We were going to do our best to make it happen. And then he was gone because of a doctor's mistake. No chance for those bucket list last trips, not even a good-bye.

Eight months later, my mother had a massive stroke and then a heart attack and then was gone too. She took care of everyone before herself, and that ultimately killed her. It was incredibly unexpected because she didn't let us know how bad her heart condition was. I knew she was seeing a heart doctor because I badgered her until she agreed to go. The COVID-19 pandemic led to her appointment being put off for almost a year. I was visiting the day she finally had her appointment, and she made it seem so minor. Maybe they could treat with medication, or they might schedule a surgery at her next appointment in a month. Then three weeks later, a blood clot allowed to form because her heart valve wasn't working properly went to her brain and caused the stroke. Then her heart and her kidneys couldn't take the stress anymore. And she was gone.

I lost both of my parents in eight month's time. The grief was debilitating, but I bore it because I had to. There was no one else to take care of what needed to be done. It was heartbreaking to go through the house that was filled with almost fifty years of accumulated memories and keepsakes. It was overwhelming trying to sort through all of the legal things and the probate procedures. Add to that being half way across the country from where they lived. It is surprisingly incredibly hard to get things accomplished from another state.

The grief came in waves. Phone calls that I couldn't make. Triumphs I couldn't share. Questions I couldn't ask. Books I couldn't discuss. Recipes I'll never be able to make again. Family connections forever broken. And the ANGER. I am so angry that the deaths were so senseless. Moments, memories, so much living was stolen that we can never get back.

Roots of Your Craft 30-Day Challenge

Roots of Your Craft 30-Day Challenge

Divination. Does it work? Would you use it? What do you think of those who do? Why?

I believe that divination does work, but I do not believe it can ever be 100% accurate. The future is never set in stone, and one tiny change can send out ripples that change everything. So, for me, divination is a slippery slope to climb. Does knowing what could happen make it more likely to happen? Do we unconsciously work to fulfill our own prophecy without realizing it? I'm not sure. For this reason, I might use divination tools to gain insight on a situation that is troubling me, but I would never seek to know the ins and outs of the future.

What do you think Magick actually is? What is the power or force behind witchcraft?

I think any magick that exists comes both from within us and from nature and the cosmos around us. Every plant and animal is made up of living energy, and when it dies, the particles of energy carry on in another form. The energy itself never dies. I think people, when they open themselves to their innate ability, are able to sense and touch that flow of energy that is constantly around us. I think that's what magick is.

How powerful do you believe Magick to be, and why?  

Believing that magick is the energy of the cosmos, I also believe that magic is both finite and everlasting. There will never be more or less energy than exists right now. The kinetic potential of everything that can be is already here. Everything has has ever been is still here as well. The only thing that changes is our belief, openness, and ability to access that energy.

What are your beliefs about ethics and morality? Do you think practicing witchcraft will change your views? If so, how?

I believe the same things are right and wrong now as I did when I was growing up in the Christian church. That hasn't changed with the evolution of my personal spiritual beliefs. Basic human rights should trump everything else. No one should be judged lacking and discriminated against because of their race or ethnicity, their gender, their sexual orientation, their gender identity, their religious beliefs, etc. My personal ethics and beliefs on morality should never dictate laws that are applied to the population at large. Morality should not dictate the law because morality is subjective and changes with every perspective.

Do you plan to be open about witchcraft to people you know? Why or why not?  

While I am not part of an organized group of practitioners because I do not trust organized religion of any kind, I do not hide my own beliefs. I am always open to discussion with anyone as long as it is civil. I spent too much of my life hiding various parts of myself that I do not care to do that at all anymore. Take me as I am or not at all.

What kind of belief system were you raised with? Do you feel it suits you, or are you making a change?

I was raised in the Christian church. My mother was raised Southern Baptist. My father was raised Methodist. When they had me and started taking me to church, they chose to explore other denominations. We went to a Church of God of Prophecy for several years, a Primitive Baptist church, and various non-denominational Protestant churches. In the rural South, honestly they are all very similar. There are important and meaningful messages to be gained from Christianity. Being Christ-like is a beautiful ideal to strive toward. But, the organized religion part of Christianity mucks up the message so much with prejudice and hate that I find it hard to reconcile the good with the bad. People are fallible no matter how holy they attempt to be. I do not want nor will I abide someone else deciding what is right or wrong or holy on my behalf. I have two eyes and a brain of my own. I can read and study and seek knowledge for myself so that I can make my own decisions on what is right for me.

What was your earliest memorable exposure to the concept of witchcraft? How did it influence your interest in it?  

Appalachia is full of Grandmothers with home remedies, family traditions, and old wives' tales that have guided their households for generations. Very few would call it Witchcraft. Many go about doing these things on a daily basis in the name of their Lord. Seventh sons of seventh sons can cure certain ailments and treat wounds/burns. Planting by the signs is common, and many know which herbs and other woodland plants to use for all sorts of cures and preventatives. They learned these things in Scotland and Ireland and Wales and brought the traditions with them to a new continent. They keep the practices alive both out of tradition and out of the necessity of Poverty. Practical magicks and wisdoms are what influence me most.

Do you think you will work with or worship deities as part of your Craft? Why or why not?  

I'm not sure for me that it is about choosing a deity to work through or for. I have respect for the cultural deities and the people who worship them. I am happy to honor their presence and purpose. My beliefs fall more into honoring natural and forces that guide and shape the world around us than a specific deity or pantheon. There are one or two that I feel a certain kinship with, and I will find ways to acknowledge them.

What do you think your life will be like in five years, magically speaking?

I have for years pushed aside the part of me that wanted to explore more spiritual things. I pushed it away for my parents who wouldn't have understood for the most part. Now that they are both gone, there's no reason to push it away any longer. 

If you could list one thing that you hope to gain from practicing witchcraft, what would it be?

Peace. Quietness of mind.

Which of the four classical elements best describes you at the beginning of your journey? (Earth, Wind, Air, or Fire)

Water. I've always been water. Water can be soothing and and gentle, refreshing and replenishing, but it can also be destructive and frighteningly dark and deep and unforgivingly harsh. The duality of being something that is the essence of life and also something that is fathomless and unknowable has always drawn me.

If you’ve practiced spellcraft, what was the experience of casting your first spell like? If you’ve not yet cast one, what do you think your first spell will be and why?

I ask for blessings and offer thanks for those blessings. I ask for advice and guidance. I very rarely use what I would call an actual spell. For me it is more about doing things with intention than the ritual of spellcasting.

Are there any witches or magicians in fiction or history that you particularly admire? Why or why not?

I will have to think on this.

If you were to think of your beginnings in witchcraft as a certain color, what color would it be and why?  

A sea of green. It's the color of the crops in the garden that fed our family year after year. It's the color of the herbs that seasoned our meals. The grass beneath my our feet as we played. The trees that covered the mountains that I grew up in. Green is Life. Green is Health. Green is Wealth.

What are your general thoughts about newer magical traditions such as pop culture spells, and technowitchery?

With new technology and evolving culture comes new tools that are at our convenience. Nothing is inherently bad or good. It just depends on how it is being used.

What are your general thoughts about older magical traditions such as rune Magick, kabbalah and esoteric eastern traditions?

Runes are a tool of divination just like tarot, pendulums, spirit boards, and bones. If drawing and reading runes feels right for you, do it. If it doesn't, they aren't a tool that you have to use. You get to make the rules for you. It's the same with any other tool or resource you happen across. If you read a text and gain something meaningful from it, use that new knowledge to enrich your practice. If you read it, and it doesn't speak to you, maybe it wasn't meant for you. Either option is okay.

Do you think that tradition is important in witchcraft? Why or why not?

I think we can learn a lot from traditions that are passed on by more experienced practitioners. Knowledge is power, and some knowledge can't be gained just by reading a description on a page. Some knowledge is best shared verbally while brewing a a pot of fire cider for the cold season or tactilely while applying a poultice to a burned arm or visually when Grandma points out which berries are good for eating and brewing and which are poisonous. But I also believe traditions should not be allowed to hold us back. We can take in all of the things that traditions can teach us and then transform those lessons by pairing them with implements, rituals, and environments that closer match our day to day experiences. If we can't use what we learn to improve our lives and the lives of others, what good is it? Everything changes. The world changes, and we have to change with it to stay relevant.

What role do you think dreams play in magical life, if any? Why or why not?

I think dreams are our sleeping mind's way of working through problems that we do not want to deal with while awake. If we study them and their patterns, I think we could potentially learn more about how to deal with the issues that plague us. I have dabbled here and there with dream interpretation, but it's not my forte.

Are you more aligned with chaos or order in terms of the Magick you have or will practice? What do you think Magick itself is more aligned with?

Nature has an order to it, and I think magick does as well. But like everyday life, some things happen for a reason and make perfect sense and some things are unexpected and happen by chance. Chaos does not have to be at odds with order. There can be a place for chaos within the order of the world.

Curses. Do they work? Would you use them? What do you think of those who do? Why?

If the person you curse believes in the power of your curse, it will be more likely to work. That may be because of your innate power, or it may be a self-fulfilling curse in that the person believes something bad is going to happen to them and so subconsciously sabotages themselves. I would never place a curse on anyone. I do not believe in purposefully seeking to do harm to anyone. Nothing good or fulfilling can come of it. Only bad for them and bad for you.

Blessings and protective Magick. Do they work? Would you use them? What do you think of those who do? Why?

I believe they can work. If you believe that a spell/ritual, crystal, charm, etc. will protect you, then it is likely to work. Do I think wearing a certain crystal and burning a particular color candle will keep you from getting shot in an unsafe part of town? Uh, no.  Do I think it replaces my home security alarm or my door locks? No. You have to use common sense too. But can it hurt to bless my house and ask a higher power than me to look over my home and family? No, I can't see how that can be a bad thing.

Do you have an affinity with an animal or type of animal? What does it mean to you? If you don’t, but had to have one, what do you think it would be?

I do not have an animal spirit guide if that's what you mean, and I do not have a familiar. I do enjoy being around farm animals, and I rarely meet a dog I can't be friends with. I wouldn't call it an affinity though.

Do you think that there is any potential in utilizing certain ritual places or “ley-lines” between ritual places? Why or why not?

I do think some places have inherent power not because of what is built there or what grows there or what people once called that land home. It has power because power was always there. The place is the power. I think a lot of people are very naturally either drawn to or repelled by those places. There are places that I have been that I have immediately felt were different than what I consider normal. Some felt good and welcoming to me, and others didn't. I would imagine over the years many others have felt the same, and it would only be natural for sacred places of all cultures to arise around these charged areas, intentional or not.

What role does the archetype of death play in magic to you, if any? Why or why not?

Everything, plant ... animal ... people, die. It's a commonality that we all share and will all one day experience. Death is part of the natural cycle of things and therefore is a part of magic as well.

What do you think of practicing magic in a group setting? What about practicing alone? Why?

I've been burned by organized religion one too many times to ever be comfortable in a group setting regardless of the religion being practiced. More than two people and someone then has to be the leader. And having a leader equals rules lawyering, and I am not about that when it comes to my personal beliefs and practices. I can study and education myself so that I can make the best choices for myself. I do not need nor do I want someone else to try and foist their beliefs and rules upon me. If I wanted that, I'd still be going to church.

Witchy Wednesday - Finding Myself in The Cailleach

 

The Cailleach (a print by RachelQuinlanArt)

Serpent-Dreamer (The Cailleach)
by Julie Jeffrey at Stonemaiden Art

I have been doing a bit more exploration into deities and spiritual paths, and there have been a couple that I have felt particularly drawn to of late. One in particularly that I have a strong leaning to is The Cailleach (pronounced KAL-y-ach). On the spectrum of female deities, she falls into the category of a crone. I have made my peace with the fact that I won't have children and my body has begun to tell me that menopause is fast approaching despite my doctor saying I am too young for that. Bodies will do what they will and can't be put on someone else's timetable. I haven't been a maiden for a very long time, being a mother wasn't meant for me, but I could be a kickass crone of a granny wise woman. She's a healer and a protector, a shaper of earth, an usher of seasons and bringer of weather. She can be both creative and destructive, neither good nor evil but part of the cycle that makes up everything in our world.

In Gaelic mythology (Irish, Scottish and Manx), the Cailleach is a divine hag and ancestor, associated
with the creation of the landscape and with the weather, especially storms and winter. In Scottish folklore, she is also known as Beira, Queen of Winter. As well as weather and Winter, she is also associated with horned beasts and cattle.

Cailleach by Ashley Bryner

In Scotland, she is credited with making numerous mountains and large hills, which are said to have been formed when she was striding across the land and accidentally dropped rocks from her creel or wicker basket. In other cases she is said to have built the mountains intentionally, to serve as her stepping stones. She carries a hammer for shaping the hills and valleys, and is said to be the mother of all the goddesses and gods. According to Mackenzie, Beira was a one-eyed giantess with white hair, dark blue skin, and rust-colored teeth.

In partnership with the goddess Brìghde, the Cailleach is seen as a seasonal deity or spirit, ruling the winter months between Samhainn (1 November or first day of winter) and Bealltainn (1 May or first day of summer), while Brìghde rules the summer months between Bealltainn and Samhainn. Some interpretations have the Cailleac and Brìghde as two faces of the same goddess, while others describe the Cailleach as turning to stone on Bealltainn and reverting to humanoid form on Samhainn in time to rule over the winter months. 

Ideas for Honoring the Goddess

In the morning, cover your altar or a table with a yellow cloth (maybe a napkin or placemat) to
represent the sun. Place a blue candle in a central location on the table, along with a bowl of snow to represent Cailleach Bheur and winter. As the candle burns with the light of the sun, the wax shrinks and this Goddess’s snows melt, giving away once more to the power of warmth and light. Keep the remnant was and re-melt it for any spells in which you need a cooler head. Pour the water from the snow outside to rejoin the Goddess.”

(Patricia Telesco, “365 Goddess: a daily guide to the magic and inspiration of the goddess”.)

Embracing the Cailleach can be a step towards embracing our own potentials as purple-clad, powerful Crones ourselves. Collect a variety of rocks with which to decorate your altar. A wonderful way to do this is to walk along a beach or take a nice hike, walk listen and smell nature as best you can where you are able to do so.,  A spiritual magical hike, a kind of meditative state, make sure you are aware of your surroundings at all times. let her messages be clearly heard. Do not pick up any rock you find, feel it listen to it, let the selection of rocks be a part of a ritual she whispers in your inner self. Take a Granny smith apple, cut it so that the star will show to you, place this on a red cloth like The Cailleach teeth or on a piece of plaid cloth like the clans folk if you desire. Cast a circle place a mirror on or above your altar. bless the elements, salt, water ect. as you would normally do. Ask yourself what strengths are written on the face you see in the mirror? intelligence, curiosity, serenity. Hold these ideas in silence. Then begin to praise the women you have become and will still yet to become. The qualities that you saw in yourself write them down, praise them and yourself for embodying them. Close the circle then invoking The Caileach again, praising her for the strength she has given you.   Celebrate afterwards with a feast  of fruit juices or wines , aged cheese and your Granny Smith apple or apples. Celebratory foods reminding us that age at its best, is a time of refinement, good taste, and great power.

Witchy Wednesday - What Makes Myself Me

"When I die, my body stops functioning. Five minutes later, my brain cells start dying. But in the meantime, in between, maybe my brain releases a flood of DMT – the psychedelic drug released when we dream – so I dream. I dream bigger than I have ever dreamed before because it’s all of it. Just the last dump of DMT all at once, and my neurons are firing and I’m seeing this firework display of memories and imagination. My mind’s rifling through the memories, long and short term, and the dreams mix with the memories. And it’s a curtain call. One last great dream as my mind empties the fuckin’ missile silos, and then I stop. My brain activity ceases and there is nothing left of me. No pain, no memory, no awareness that I ever was. That I ever hurt someone. That I ever killed someone. Everything is as it was before me. All of the other little things that make me up – the microbes and bacterium and the billion other little things that live on my eyelashes and in my hair and in my mouth and on my skin and in my gut and everywhere else, they just keep on living and eating. And I’m serving a purpose. I’m feeding life and I’m broken apart and all the littlest pieces of me are just recycled and I’m billions of other places. And my atoms are in plants and bugs and animals, and I am like the stars that are in the sky. There one moment and then just scattered across the goddamn cosmos.”

"Myself. My self. That’s the problem. That’s the whole problem with the whole thing. That word, “self.” Thats not the word. That’s not right, that isn’t…How did I forget that? When did I forget that? The body stops a cell at a time, but the brain keeps firing those neurons. Little lightning bolts, like fireworks inside and I thought I’d despair or feel afraid, but I don’t feel any of that. None of it. Because I’m too busy. I’m too busy in the moment. Remembering. Of course. I remember that every atom in my body was forged in a star. This matter, this body is mostly empty space after all, and solid matter? It’s just energy vibrating very slowly why there is no me. There never was. The electrons of my body mingle and dance with the electrons of the ground below me and the air I’m no longer breathing. And I remember there is no point where any of that ends and I begin. I remember I am energy. Not memory. Not self. My name, my personality, my choices, all came after me. I was before them and I will be after, and everything else is pictures, picked up along the way. Fleeting little dreamlets printed on the tissue of my dying brain. And I am the lightning that jumps between. I am the energy firing the neurons, and I’m returning. Just by remembering, I’m returning home. And it’s like a drop of water falling back into the ocean, of which it’s always been a part. All things… a part. You, me and my little girl, and my mother and my father, everyone’s who’s ever been, every plant, every animal, every atom, every star, every galaxy, all of it. More galaxies in the universe than grains of sand on the beach. And that’s what we’re talking about when we say “God.” The cosmos and its infinite dreams. We are the cosmos dreaming of itself. It’s simply a dream that I think is my life, every time. But I’ll forget this. I always do. I always forget my dreams. But now, in this split-second, in the moment I remember, the instant I remember, I comprehend everything at once. There is no time. There is no death. Life is a dream. It’s a wish. Made again and again and again and again and again and again and on into eternity. And I am all of it. I am everything. I am all. I am that I am."

Both of these quotes are from the television show Midnight Mass, found streaming on Netflix. I was so impressed and taken back by the beauty and simplicity of what's expressed in them. It's very different than what the majority of people I know think when they talk about what comes after this life. They aren't full of pearly gates and singing angels and tearful reunions with loved ones who have passed on before. It made me really think about what I believe about the afterlife. 

I have to believe that some part of us remains after the outer shell of our bodies die. I don't think this life is all there is. That thought is too depressing for me. 

I'm not sure I am fully sold on the idea of reincarnation, nor am I sure I would want that. We struggle and fight our way through life cherishing the few moments of happiness and fulfillment we are able to experience, and then when we die, we get sent back to go through it all again ... in the hopes of what? Learning one more speck of knowledge of about the world or oneself or whatever. The pain outweighs that speck, and I would hate to think whatever higher power set the world into motion would be that much of a sadist. 

Do I buy the idea of a Heaven and Hell .... or Elysian Fields and Tartarus ... or whatever you call your Paradise versus Everlasting Suffering? Maybe, but maybe not. I don't believe in the church's version necessarily. Dante's vision of it is interesting intellectually, but it's too mired in dogma. I think if we buy into the idea that we go to one place or the other that each is made up from our own conceptions of them. Hell is of our own making, and so is Heaven. I think it would be different for everyone. I have resonated with the evolving personal Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory presented by the movie What Dreams May Come. If that's the sort of Afterlife we all get, and I have been kind enough to go to the Good Place in the end, I hope I get to exist in my happiest moments.  A cabin by the river in the mountains that I love. Visits from all of my loved ones. A meadow to run with the dogs I loved as much as I did the people. A crowded table full of delicious foods with a chair for everyone who has made my existence a little richer, a little happier, a little more full.

While that thought is nice, it's not the one that brings me the most peace and contentment. In the end, I hope I know what it was all for ... the why, the who, the why not ... just KNOW. And then knowing that Knowing wasn't as important as I had thought because there is so much more to being than simply knowing. The body and both its pleasures and pains are gone, but "I" remain. Not the I that I thought I was maybe or that I had always been because it was so entwined with the physical body and the limited scope of the human mind. I would be the "I" I could have always been if I had not been so confined. Light, effervescent, large and small, solid and vapor. Aware of myself but so much more than I had ever "been" before. I could be the little gust of wind that lifts a leaf off the ground and dances it round and round through the air. I could be the current that rushes water through the rocks of the stream. I could be the sunlight that helps the Spring flowers break the surface of the snow. To be an unfettered and eternal part of everything, tied to the Universe and to its Creator in ways that I never could be in my mortal form. And then as time goes on (if time exists outside of mortality at all), we grow less and less "I" and then just "Are." We exist to be what needs to be at any given moment. Raw energy to be formed and used and reformed but always there.

Witchy Wednesday 11/17/2021 Writing Prompt: Love Up on You!

 Writing PROMPT (from the Sage mobile app)

Happy almost full moon, mystic! Today's ritual is all about YOU!

With Venus in Capricorn and the upcoming Full Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse in Taurus on Friday, this is the perfect opportunity to clear out any negative feelings about yourself and fill up with LOVE!

Full moons are a time of release. So to prepare for this grand event, let's do some work on your inner world that will leave you feeling loved up and supported by the most important person in your life: YOU!

On a piece of paper or in your journal, follow these prompts. Don't think hard, but follow your intuition and write down what comes up first:

• Write down 5 things you love about yourself (not physical)
• Write 5 things you'd like to stop doing or shift (negative self talk, etc.)
• Write down 5 ways you want to love yourself better (acceptance, etc.)

As you reflect on these questions and discover what coms out of you, release judgement, shame, guilt, and being too hard on yourself. Your main task today is to talk to yourself like you would your best friend. No negative self-talk, no self-deprecating comments, no scowling at the mirror. Just per, radiant LOVE!

1) 5 things you love about yourself (not physical)

• Capacity for love
• Perservance
• Sense of Humor
• Generosity
• Creativity

2) 5 things you'd like to stop doing or shift

• Holding Anger
• Leaving Self-care to Last
• Letting Little Things get to Me
• Losing Patience
• Negative Self Image

3) 5 Ways you Want to Love Yourself Better

• More Meaningful time for Self-care
• Reorganize my Physical Surroundings to lessen the Mental Chaos
• Longer, More Restful Sleep
• Be More Positive about/to Myself
• Leave time for Creativity/Fun in Everything