When have I judged or held back my emotions? (Part 1)
I do it all the time. I do it to protect others, and I do it as self-preservation to protect myself as well. Growing up, the society I was raised in was built on very reserved people. They didn't raise their voices in anger or joy or sadness. You received the very palest hint of emotion in public, and you saved the real thing for the privacy of your own space with no one to witness it. The women especially were expected to be soft-spoken, obedient, level-headed, genteel. There was a constant simmer of unexpressed emotion underlying so many interactions, it left me tense. It was like walking on egg shells forever. I am very good at applying the mask, soft on the outside but hard as steel and thick on the inside. No one ever saw inside. I grew to hate it. I felt so much of me was inside, hidden, that there must be something wrong with me. Why did so much of me have to be locked away. The things that made me happy were weird. The things that infuriated me didn't seem to bother anyone else. The rage and the hurt simmered for years beneath the surface. I found ways of dealing and luckily there were a few people I could be a little more me around. As time went on, I removed myself from the spiritually and mentally claustrophobic places and the toxic people.
What limiting beliefs do I feel ready to detach from?
I am ready to let go of the limiting belief that I only have value within my family if I can produce children. I am more and have always been more than a breeder of more family members. Carrying on the family name and biological footprint is not my responsibility, destiny, or obligation. I can't have children. I am the only living child of my deceased parents. I am the last of their line. I am sorry that they didn't get to have grandchildren before they passed. They would have loved them beyond measure. But, the ability to provide that experience for them was beyond my control. I feel like for many years my mother held resentment toward me for not giving her those grandchildren. That wasn't my fault. I need to let go of the mindset that lets me blame myself for her unhappiness. Her feelings about it were hers and shouldn't be allowed to reflect on me. Considering the genetic legacy I've been handed from both parents, not being able to pass those along may not be a bad thing.
Choose a recipe (cookies are good for their small size, portability, and ease of sharing), then break the ingredients down into their magical meanings. What kind of spell would this recipe work best for? Healing, love, workplace harmony?
I chose Lemon Lavender Tea Cakes. You will find the recipe at the bottom.
I've never really stopped to do a full analysis of one of the recipes I cook from a magical perspective. I cook what feels good and right when I want to provide comfort, warmth, a refreshment of energy, ect. It should be interesting to take a closer look. In the list of ingredients below, the first paragraph is my associations with the ingredient and what I feel and think when I experience them followed by a bulleted item or list of their published magical properties.
BUTTER
Butter can be either a solid or a liquid. It can flow through and around the other ingredients, or it can grease the wheel so to speak to ease the way for other items not to stick and burn. I use it when I cook comfort foods that bring to mind warmth and happiness like fresh biscuits, cookies, and pastries.
Smoothes and soothes energies and relationships
Increases tenacity
Makes change easier
Increases spirituality and connection to Deity on the physical plane
Adds a nurturing, smooth quality to spells
Can be an easy kitchen witch go-to spell: Simply roll butter in herbs and empower it for your spell. Serve with bread!
EGGS
Eggs are the glue that help hold things together in my cooking. To me they also represent life, fertility, hope for the future.
An egg is a complete neat package of life and is very symbolic of fertility, new life, new beginnings and creation itself. Within they also symbolize long life and immortality.
The egg is a complete set of elements in one handy pack: The shell represents Earth, the inner membrane represents Air, the yolk is Fire and the white is Water.
FLOUR
I associate flour with bread, and bread equals warmth and comfort. Humble beginnings for flour to start out as a tiny grain and then become a dry powder and then to be transformed again into all sorts of lovely breads, pies, pastries, and sauces. It has so much malleability and versatility. When I think of flour and the wheat it comes from, I also think of the Biblical story of Joseph and his interpretation of Pharaoh's dreams. In the years of plenty there were beautiful sheaths of grain, full and rich and hearty. It would feed all of the people so that they would not suffer hunger during the lean years.
Magickal properties - abundance, fertility, money, rebirth, truth, strength and energy
BAKING SODA
Baking soda and baking powder have always been a bit magical in my mind when it comes to baking. They are the science and magic of why the breads can rise without yeast. I guess if I were going to apply a magical property to them, I would use them with the intent to assist someone to rise up to meet and overcome adversity, to give a helping hand to meet a goal or work through something challenging in their lives.
Magickal uses - ritual fire safety, cleansing altar tools
SALT
Salt has always represented protection to me. When paired with something sweet, it also adds an element of balance. A tea cake is traditionally round, so it could incorporate the same protection that a circle of salt represents for the receiver.
Sugar is sweetness and first loves. Perhaps a little bad for you, but so enjoyable in small doses. A guilty pleasure.
Magickal properties - attraction, love, used to amplify any attraction spell
VANILLA
In my mind vanilla will always be associated with holiday baking. Days filled with warmth, laughter, the smells of sweet treats, and occasionally a tummy ache after eating too many of said treats. The smell evokes sugary goodness and the deep brown color makes me think of roasting chestnuts. I would use it to invoke a sense of comfort and belonging.
In my world lemon is refreshing and represents something clean and new. Sometimes it's surprising and unexpected. It livens things up. I can almost feel the warmth of the sunshine and taste the tart of the lemon on my tongue from my grandmother's lemonade when I smell the zest.
I have a love-hate relationship with lavender flowers. It's beautiful and fragrant and delicate when used sparingly, but it can turn astringent and medicinal very quickly if used with a heavy hand. It's a nice balance to the acidity of the lemon and richness of butter. Like the salt, I have always associated lavender with purification and protection. It has become such a common place ingredient in stress-relief and sleep teas, lotions, body washes, that I also immediately think relaxation as well.
Attract men: Wear lavender perfume or add lavender essential oil to your beauty and love spells to bring your next lover to you.
Banishing harmful spirits: Sprinkle the flowers along the floor of your home or business to ward away evil spirits.
Happiness: Bake lavender into cookies or flavor your lemonade with the flower to bring happiness.
Increase intelligence: Drink the tea, make a sachet, or eat food crafted from lavender to increase your brainpower.
Long Life: Use lavender in your beauty routine or carry the flower on you to promote longevity.
Purification: Burn lavender or use the fresh sprigs to sprinkle blessed water in your home to remove harmful energies.
Sleep: Make a tea, fill an eye pillow, or place a few drops of lavender essential oil into your full pillow; its scent and energy will help relax your mind and bring on sleep.
All of that in a cookie prepared and shared with love. Who knew? And if you've made it this far, below is the recipe.
Lemon Lavender Tea Cakes
1 cup butter, softened
2 cups white sugar
3 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 medium lemon
1/2 Tbs dried lavender flowers
1) Combine flour, soda, and salt and sift together. Set Aside.
2) In separate bowl beat butter at medium speed with an electric mixer until creamy. Gradually add sugar, beating well. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating until blended after each addition. Add vanilla extract, dried lavender flowers, 1 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice, and the zest of one lemon beating until blended.
3) Add flour mixture to butter mixture. Beat at low speed until blended together.
4) Divide dough in half; wrap each portion in plastic wrap, and chill 1 hour.
5) Roll half of dough to 1/4-inch thickness on a floured surface. Cut out cookies with a 2 1/2-inch round cutter, and place 1 inch apart on parchment paper-lined baking sheets.
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