Maker Monday: Kitchen Witchery: Adventures in Low Carb Cooking - Moussaka

My endocrinologist has asked me to follow a 50g of carbs or less daily diet for the next two months. I did the low carb thing years and years ago when the Atkins diet was just starting to be known. It was the most miserable year of eating I have ever experienced. I felt like everything was a 'No, you can't have that!' and almost nothing I liked was a, 'Yes, you can.' 

Since I had my gallbladder taken out several years ago, my body just does not process highly fatty foods very well at all. I am almost instantly sick if I try to eat something fried or heavily oiled. I am also lactose intolerant, so that takes out a lot of the traditional dairy meals and snacks. Dairy alternatives have come a long way, but some dairy items are just not replaceable. I can thankfully take Lactaid to stave off most of the negative side effects from dairy for a good number of ingredients. I left the heavy cream in the recipe below, and I desperately regretted it. I will be switching it to an oat cream or a coconut cream next time. 

This dish was inspired by a Moussaka recipe in the Going Greek on Keto cookbook by Nicholas Diakos. 

We made some changes to suit our tastes and line up more with the ingredients we had on hand as well. I do not like egg plant, so I switched that out with thin slices of zucchini. We switched the ground lamb to ground pork to help prevent my wife's gout from flaring up due to red meat. I also used some of my home canned spicy marinara instead of store bought tomato sauce to reduce both sugar and salt. 

Low Carb Moussaka

Ingredients

1 pound ground pork

2 large zucchini squash sliced thin

1 medium onion diced

1 pint home canned spicy marinara

1 cup heavy cream

1 egg

1 1/4 cups mozzarella cheese shredded

1/2 cup grated Parmesan

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon turmeric

1/2 teaspoon granulated garlic

1/4 teaspoon ginger

1/2 teaspoon cardamom

1 teaspoon Italian herbs

1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

1/2 teaspoon lite salt

Additional pinch of Italian herbs and red pepper flakes for final seasoning (optional)

1) Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees.

2) Brown ground pork in a skillet over medium heat. You could also use pork sausage, but be aware there may be added sugar and salt in pre-made sausage. While the meat is browning, slice the zucchini into either thin strips (think lasagna noodles) or thin rounds using a mandolin.

3) Add tomato sauce, spices, and herbs to meat and turn down on low to simmer stirring occasionally.

4) In a saucepan, heat heavy cream on medium low heat. Add a small shake of nutmeg. Stir in Parmesan and 1/2 cup of the mozzarella until melted and smooth. Remove cheese sauce from heat and take a small amount of the sauce out into a separate bowl to use to temper the egg so that it does not scramble. Add egg mix back to saucepan stirring until incorporated. Meat sauce should be done now.

5) Spray casserole dish with oil of your choice or non-stick spray. Put down a layer of sliced squash. Next add layer of the meat sauce and then a layer of cheese sauce. Sprinkle a thin layer of mozzarella over top of cheese sauce. Add second layer of each ingredient ending with your second layer of mozzarella. Sprinkle top with a shake or two of Italian herbs and a shake of red pepper flakes (optional).

6) Bake for 25-35 minutes until cheese on top is a golden brown. Let cool for about 10-12 minutes before eating so cheese sauce will thicken.

Nutritional Info

Calories per serving            450

Net Carbs                            8g

    Total Carbs      9g

    Fiber                2g

Protein                               21g

Fat                                       37g

After Cooking/Meal Notes:

Next time, we think we would use a cottage cheese and egg mixture in place of the cheese sauce like we do in lasagna.

We also prefer more vegetables, so we would add diced mushrooms to the meat sauce and put in another layer of sliced squash as well.

Translating a Memory into Art - Part 2 - Memorial Tattoo for Mama

Both of my parents passed away in 2020. Nothing makes you realize how very few photos you have of your loved ones than when you have to grapple with the thought of never being able to take a new photo or make a new memories. The memories my mind holds are the only memories I will every have of my mother and my father. I will never be able to get another hug or ask for another piece of advice or hear their voices again. 

My parents lost my older siblings at or shortly after birth, so I grew up an only child. With both of my parents gone, there are memories of me and of our family that no one living has memories of and others that only my memories are left. I never realized the burden of being the keeper of memory would be so weighty or that it would come to me so soon.

A few years ago, I got a memorial tattoo of my father. This year, I finally decided on a design for my mother. My mother loved all of the children in her life. Nieces and nephews, neighborhood children, kids that belonged to friends and other family members. There was always room for another plate at our table or a place for someone to sleep in our house if they needed it. If a child needed comfort for anything, she was there.

In many of the pictures I have of her and in so many memories, my mother was rocking a baby or small child to sleep or holding their hand as they learned to walk or helping them put together a new toy to play with. This picture (left) is a perfect example.

So that is what I decided to send to my tattoo artist as inspiration for my new tattoo. I also found a drawing by Soosh of a mother and child in a very similar pose that I sent along as well. I love the line drawing and water color style of it, and it would mesh very well with the memorial tattoo I had of my dad already.

I think it turned our perfectly. The only thing I had my artist update from the drawing she showed me was the color of Mama's hair. She had it more red and less blonde. If you knew my mother, you probably remember that she absolutely did have reddish blonde hair. She, however, would correct anyone in a flat second who tried to say she did. For most of my life she even went regularly to the salon to have blonde and gray "frosting" streaks put in her hair to make it more blonde and less red. I never understood why. I always thought her hair was very pretty all on its own. That said, I laughed and told my artist that Mama would haunt me if I had a tattoo done of her and made her hair its natural color, so we went more blonde.

I love that my artist matched the color of the foot pajamas I am wearing in this tattoo to the color of the shirt I am wearing in the memorial tattoo for my dad. She also matched my pigtail hairstyle too. Both memorial pieces are in the inside of my left arm, one upper and one lower arm. I wanted them both where I could see them anytime, and I wanted them on the side of my body closest to my heart. You can see my dad's memorial tattoo HERE. Hopefully my next tattoo will be one surrounding happier things and not another memorial piece.

Tarot Thursday - Slavic Folklore - Lenormand Deck

 

It's been a while since I have published a Tarot Thursday post. I discovered a deck that is new to me and quite different from my usual Tarot. I had never heard of Lenormand or Lenormand Decks. They originated in France in the 1700s. Each card has a coinciding number/suit card so that you can use a regular deck of playing cards to interpret. I would imagine this would have been handy during times when Witchcraft persecutions were common. 

I've been exploring a two card reading that I am beginning to really like. One card presents your specific question, concern, situation, etc., and the other card modifies it.  So, for example if the main card is the Letter card, communication is going to be key to your query. Say then, your second card is the Moon card. Then it could be interpreted that this communication is centered around emotions. Maybe you need to communication how you are feeling about a situation to someone important to you, or perhaps someone in your life needs to communicate how they are feeling. 

I find the idea of this deceptively simple two card spread to be very clear and direct and allows me to drill down to what's really important about my query.

I picked up four decks to just get a feel for them, but so far I have really been drawn to the Slavic Folklore deck. I've been having some health concerns, and I queried what I could do to resolve them or if they could be resolved.

My primary card was the Rat, and my modifying card was the Tower.

The Rat (also called The Little Helper)
Meaning: Worry breaks down the spirit and moments of weakness erase signs of hope during the darkest times. Do not let fear win. Even the smallest creatures have hidden strength.

Mice are unexpected helpers in Russian tales. They are small enough to fit into unlikely places and come with clever solutions to difficult problems.

The Tower

The imposing walls of a tower exude authority and strength. While they do protect, they can also isolate. The boundaries of the tower create a sense of solitude. 

The fortress is the beginning, middle, and end of many tales. The hero leaves the comfort of his own castle to face a villain fortified in their tower and then returns home to his own castle once again.

I interpreted these two cards together as meaning for my particular situation that I may feel alone and helpless right now, but if I am resourceful and perhaps step out of my comfort zone I can find a solution that will help me overcome my current problem.

With Fear for our Democracy, I Dissent - 2024 Election

I will preface this with, I’m not asking for a Trump supporter to try and convince me why they support him. I just need to say what I have been feeling. You can read or not read, agree or disagree.

We only have a week until the presidential election. A week to worry. A week to stress. A week to protect fragile hope. The 2016 results were shocking. I will always remember crying in our living room. I didn’t understand then and eight years later I still do not understand now how people could vote for a person who knowingly and happily denigrates women, disrespects military service people, mocks disabled citizens, and wants to actively rip away rights and protections for minorities and LGBTQIA+ Americans. It isn’t someone saying he did those things. We all heard his words and saw his actions. I know decent people who voted for that, and I still do not understand why.

In 2020, when he and his party lost, I dared to hope that it would be a turning point for the good. I thought perhaps those followers would wake up to the deceptions. And some did. But so many more haven’t even blinked. And now we are up for another election, and he is still using his followers and celebrity and sheer incomprehensibility to try and avoid punishment for the criminal activity he has been both charged with and convicted. When have we ever had a presidential candidate who has had dozens of convictions on their record and who has been investigated for treason against our country? If there was a hint of any one of these charges with a past candidate, nothing would have saved them in the eye of the public. The Republican party would have been the first to judge. Where is that judgement now?

All to say, I am scared about this election. I was horrified in 2016, but I had hope that good people were just misled. I thought if we all survived those four years, we (those people included) would come together to fix the mess we were in. In 2020, I was disillusioned at seeing the number of people still casting their votes for him with full knowledge of what he had done the previous four years. But, when he wasn’t elected, I was cautiously hopeful that there were more people who would stand against that sort of malignancy infecting our country. And now we are four years forward, still recovering, still fighting, still holding on to that tiny hope as we once again see our friends and family and neighbors continue to support a monster. I am more frightened this year than I was the prior two election years. We all know his wants and desires for this country. We know what he’s capable of, and we know that his party will not stand against him when it counts.

I’ve heard dozens of excuses for voting for him. That’s what they are … excuses. I’ll be honest, if someone tells me they are voting for that monster, I don’t care why anymore. It’s way past time for individual grievances and justifications. None of them come close to balancing the scale of what we know about what he believes, supports, and has actively allowed or participated in. There is no comparison.

I take my first statement back. If you, after everything, are still a Trump supporter, I would rather you just quietly unfriend/unfollow me on every outlet, lose my e-mail or phone number. No leaving announcement needed. If you support him as a candidate to lead our country and make decisions about our future, then I have to think you also harbor hate and disrespect in your hearts for women and girls, the LGBTQIA+ community, disabled individuals, military men and women, people of color, immigrants, and anyone else who does not fit into your tiny world view of perfection.

And before someone says I shouldn’t let politics come between me and the people I love. It’s not. This isn’t politics. This isn’t a discussion about tax rates or military spending or how state budgets are used or which party anyone belongs to. It’s about the most basic rights and common decency. It’s about being human and wanting equality in all areas of life for everyone whether we agree/approve of them or not. Will I ever understand your choice to continue to support Trump or anyone like him? No. Do I believe in the deepest part of my heart that you deserve the right to medical care when you are sick, the right to love and marry whichever adult you want, the right to be paid for your worth as an employee, to be treated equally regardless of your race or gender or sexual orientation, to have control over your own body and freedom? Yes. Without question. I do not have to agree with you, like you, or even know you to believe you deserve those things. My greatest wish is for you to want the same.

Just to Say Hello I Guess

I've always been interested in the possibility of paranormal activity: ghostly visitations, residual hauntings, life after death, etc.  My gut tells me that the majority of "hauntings" people experience are residual in nature. I know places carry echoes of both good and bad things that have happened there. I can feel those sometimes. So, it makes sense to me that places would also carry echoes of the people who once resided there. I don't think these echoes are sentient in any way though. They are spiritual recordings of what has already happened. Are there also intelligent hauntings ... maybe. probably ... but I don't think those happen nearly as often as the ghost shows want you to believe. 

I say this all to qualify that I'm not one of those ghost fanatics who yell, "What's That?!" at every sound in the darkness. And having said that. I think I saw my grandfather, who passed in 2007, a few nights ago. He was leaning up against the door frame of my guest room. He was wearing one of the coveralls he liked that resembled air force jumpsuits. I made eye contact, he gave a little nod, and then he was gone. It was like he just wanted to recognize that he saw me and that he was there before going. 

We hadn't moved into the house we live in now when he passed, so no chance of a residual haunting there. It's been almost 17 years since he passed. It seems like an odd time to peek in for a quick nod. But who knows. Just an odd little thing that happened that I will be turning around in my head for a while. A bit of unexpected food for thought.

What will the New Year bring? Hopefully a better me ...

With Samhain just passed, we begin a new year and another turn of the wheel. I have been thinking about what I want for this year.

This year, I want to be the River. I want to flow over and under and around the obstacles that crop up in my path, moving ever onward toward my goals. I want to rush wildly with excitement, burble over with laughter often, move steadily forward on the day to day, and rest still and calm when I need to. I will be the River.

I want to pause to take better care of myself. I have never been great at self care. I have a tendency to take care of everything else before turning my focus on me. It's been especially bad since my parents passed away. Everything got shoved to the back for a year to deal with the legal, financial, and logistical details surrounding their deaths and managing the estate. That took all of my focus. I didn't even feel like I could let myself grieve until it was all taken care of because I was afraid I would fall apart. The next year was full of a mix of delayed grief and guilt over questions of if I had done everything right the prior year. Did I honor them and respect their memory enough? Was I respectful of what was left behind? I still don't know. The grief and sense of being adrift overwhelm me sometimes. No living parents, no living siblings, disconnected physically and emotionally from the extended family I do have left. They never call or write. I never hear from them without being the one to reach out. Without my parents as the binding fiber, I have lost the sense of connection I have always had with my family. Intellectually, I realize there is nothing I can do about any of that. Emotionally, it feels like the universe telling me that the feelings of isolation and not "fiting in" that I experienced growing up have all been proven correct. Regardless of why or why not, maybe it is just time to move on and find a new definition of myself without them or at least separate from them. I can't continue to define my worth by home much they outwardly show they care.

Over the past few years, my physical health has started to take hits too. I know part of it is from the stress of everything above. 

• My anxiety has been extremely high. My blood pressure has been higher than it should be, and I know the two are related to a certain extent. I've recently sought evaluation and medication for that. 
• Sleep has always been a struggle for me, but my quality and quantity of sleep has deteriorated even more in the past few years. I am exhausted but not sleepy. When my brain should be winding down for the day in prep for sleep, it's just getting a second wind to go, go, go throughout the night. It's getting harder to pull myself out of bed in the morning because I haven't been able to get to sleep the prior night. I am Vitamin D deficient, and I am taking meds for that. I am anemic, and I am taking meds for that. My thyroid glands are underactive, and I am taking meds for that. Every medical condition I have causes fatigue, and yet, I can't fall asleep at a decent hour.  It's kind of ridiculous. I have had two at-home sleep studies so far because my insurance will not cover an in-lab one to try and figure out any underlying medical causes. I should have results for the last test later this week. Hopefully it will show something conclusive or at least help cross some potential causes off the list.
• I need to take better care of my teeth. I have been avoiding the dentist like the plague for the last few years. Part of it was the Covid pandemic. Part of it was the fact that my father died because of anesthetic toxicity due to a miscalculation at the dentist office. I realize that I do not see the same dentist and that I have never heard of anything similar happening to anyone else. My anxiety doesn't care about that though. All my anxiety knows is that my dad was completely fine, he he sat down in the dentist chair to have some work done, and he was brain dead less than an hour later. It's not rational. I get that. But it's what I think of every time I go to schedule a cleaning. I have scheduled one for next month though. Hopefully I won't freak out.
• I want to do a better job of being more physically active after the holidays. I would love to lose some excess weight. I want to improve my mobility, decrease stress on my body, and hopefully just generally feel better and feel better about myself overall. 

Financially, I want to really focus on lowering and eliminating debt this year. We had to use a chunk of savings this year to do house and car repairs and replace a piece of furniture that we hadn't anticipated replacing for a while into the future. It makes me nervous to have so little in savings.  And of course with student loans reactivating, unlike all of the promises claimed, my monthly payments went up instead of down. It sucks, but nothing I can do about that. One loan will pay off in about three months, which will free up a bit of money that I can add onto the monthly payment for a credit card. I want to focus on paying extra toward those with the highest interest to lower my overall debt to income ratio. 

What will I find this time next year? Hopefully a happier, healthier, more financially secure me. That's what I am hoping for anyway. It won't be easy, but then nothing worth it ever seems to be.

An Invocation Ritual for Happiness

 

1) Pick a candle of a color that brings to mind thoughts of happiness, hope, joy, etc. A small chime candle or taper candle works best, but really any candle not in a container works. For me, I will choose a bright yellow chime candle.

2) Use a nail or other sharp tool to carve the name of the thing you wish to call to you. I will write 'Happiness' on my candle.

3) Place the candle in a holder and put it at the center of a plate or other fire/wax safe surface. Surround the candle with other objects that call forth the same element you are inviting in. For Happiness, I have chosen white daisies, yellow mums, and orange marigolds interspersed with mint leaves and basil.

4) Hold a key shaped charm or an actual key in your hand and move it in a circle clockwise around the candle nine time while saying out loud that you open your heart, mind, and home to the element you are inviting (Happiness in my case).

5) Repeat the invocation each day for five days. If using fresh herbs, flowers, ect. replace those when they begin to wilt.